FOREVER

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New

One month.

It had been one month since Alice had left, since the entire family left. And I still missed them all terribly. Hell, I even missed Rosalie...but just a little. But, despite the fact that I was still horribly sad over it all, I couldn't deny that I was a little bit proud of myself. I had holed myself up in my room for a few days after Alice left, crying and not eating and all that jazz. Charlie had left me alone then with absolutely no idea of what to do. My mother had called multiple times and I resorted to turning off my phone, alienating myself from the outside world. When Charlie had finally put his foot down and forced me to go to school, I thought it was the end.

I thought that I was going to be a terrible wreck all day. That people would hug me and constantly ask how I was doing. The rumors of the Cullens' disappearances would be all over the school and I didn't want to hear of it.

Much to my surprise, however, it was all handled well. Sure, Angela and Mike and Eric asked about me and I told them, convincingly so, that I was fine. Angela was the only one that didn't seem to believe me and that made me respect her even more. I ended up telling her about Alice and myself just to get it off of my chest. She seemed skeptical at first, and who would blame her? But after some more talking she made it clear that she was here for me and I realized that she would be. Angela was a true friend and I spent the next weeks making up my absences to her. She helped a lot. She took my mind of it, at least on the surface.

Jacob was there too. And Jacob really helped with everything that was beneath the surface. When I had holed myself up in my room, Jacob skipped school to see me. I was too out of it to really talk to him, but his hand always found mine. And while his hand did not provide the icy chill that I wanted, it was there. And I couldn't help but be grateful for that. Jacob also took it upon himself to spend the night sometimes, as the nightmares would still cause me to wake up in a panic. I'd like to think that I told him to leave, but I couldn't. I was too scared of waking up to an empty room. But Jacob was always there, and the nightmares had started to ease. As the time passed and I became less of a shut in, we hung out even more. He listened to me talk and I would have listened to him...if he'd said anything at all.

Now, don't get me wrong. I adored Jacob's company. But he seemed so aloof all of the time. We had never actually gotten around to talking about that day. I mean, it still hurt to think about so why add insult to injury? And Jacob didn't seem to want to talk about it either. But the more I thought about it and the more that I woke up from my dreams with that strange inkling, the more I felt compelled to ask him. We were sitting in my living room with a checkerboard in between us. Jacob was glaring intently at the board as I pondered my next move. Jacob picked up a piece and jumped two of my reds while muttering, "King me," with the smallest hint of pride.

I took one of my nabbed black pieces and set it on top of his. He smiled at his little achievement and I returned it. "Jacob?"

"Yeah?"

"How are Quil and Embry?"

"They're fine."

"What about Sam?"

"He's fine." The words came out in a half growl and I raised my brow at him. He challenged my look, daring me to continue and I was more than happy to accept that challenge.

"You know, we never did talk about what happened those days."

"I didn't think you wanted to talk about it."

"I didn't. But I do now." Jacob looked like a wounded puppy...an angered wounded puppy, but a puppy nonetheless. I sighed, toying with the checker pieces. "Let's start with the day before...that day. You were so angry and heated, Jake. And you're still angry and heated. I know that you said that Sam wasn't who I thought he was but.... I just would like some clarity on at least one thing that was going on in my life, Jake," I sighed. I didn't mean to play the poor me card, but I'd gotten really good at it lately. And it seemed to get me what I wanted. Call it selfish, but it worked most of the time.