FOREVER

Focus

Focus

One of the guards had taken my jacket and he was holding it down by his side, allowing it to graze the frozen floor. Occasionally he would lift it up to his face and inhale deeply. Then he would turn around and smile me. I hated that smile because there was something behind it. Something I knew I hated. In spite of my hate, though I focused on that man. I focused on his red hood and the way he walked almost lethargically in front me. And I focused on the sounds of everyone's feet, Alice's quiet whimpers and Rosalie's occasional grunts of effort as she fought with the man holding her arm.

I focused on all of these things because if I didn't, I knew I would die. The layers of clothes I wore underneath my jacket were easily penetrated by the Siberian wind, which had started up again shortly after we began our journey. At first I thought I would be okay. I thought that the layers would keep me warm enough to at least make to wherever we were going. But only minutes after we started walking I could feel the sting in my arms. It burned all the way up my shoulders and down my torso and even across the back of my neck where I thought my hair would provide some protection. Thankfully, my legs were fairly comfortable, thanks to the ski pants Rosalie had told me to wear. My legs kept me moving and moving kept hypothermia at bay. Moving and thinking and focusing.

Alice had tried to reason with the guards. I could hear pleading but strange Russian tones as she spoke quickly and just as fluently as Rosalie had. But they paid her no mind and when Alice tried to reach for me, a guard grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back so forcefully that she doubled over in pain. I'd spent the rest of my time focusing on trying to rid that image from my mind forever. The only person that didn't look absolutely devastated was Rosalie. But she did look pissed off beyond all reason. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she continued to struggle against the guard that held her. She wasn't really trying hard it seemed, but she was doing enough to annoy the hell out of him and every once in a while he would spit out what I could only assume was Russian vulgarity, and Rosalie would smile just a bit.

Rosalie was a fighter. A fighter and a protector and I'd be lying if I said I didn't love that about her. Alice would smile at her from time to time as well and the look that passed between those two sisters was enviable. I never had a sibling but I imagine the love between one sibling to another as being very strong. Especially now, seeing how Alice and Rosalie could communicate with each other on looks alone. And then Alice would look at me and somehow in all of this she would manage a smile. And it was in those smiles that I realized why Rosalie called Alice a beacon of hope. Because when the girl smiled like that, nothing else really mattered.

My foot caught on something and I was sent tumbling to the ground. No one was holding onto me because I didn't have a chance, so there was no one to catch my fall. I slid on the hard ground and felt an aching in my elbow, but thankfully no blood. And then I realized just how good it felt to be lying down. The ground was warm and down here I could hardly feel the wind as it blistered my skin. I smiled, looking up at Alice who was fighting with her guard to try and get to me. The Regentoi stood over me, seemingly confused and I smiled up at them as well. I was so tired. And so warm. Maybe all that I needed was to sleep and all of this would go away.

Rosalie let out a growl and I lifted my head to see her get one arm free from her guard. She used it to fling it towards me and shouted at the guards in English. "She's dying! She can't survive this weather without that jacket, you idiot! Put it on her or that blood that smells so good to you will freeze!" The guard holding my jacket turned around to face Rosalie, who had since been restrained again. He got right up into her face and looked her over for a moment. Then he lifted his hand, made a fist, and brought it roughly against her perfect cheek. Rosalie let out grunt of pain and her head fell forward. I screamed, jumping from my daze warily and trying to make my way over to her. Someone grabbed a hold of me and even though it was useless I tried to fight his grip. Alice was also fighting and she managed to get her teeth on her guard's hand, resulting in a yelp of pain.