Ponder// Miniminter x reader

Part 6

November

You hadn't seen Simon in a few days, probably just visiting his parents.  Although you were slightly lonely without his presence, you still had Vik. He kept you entertained with puzzles and a few sessions of Minecraft.  You were starting to eat again, it was small meals and bites because  of it still hurting when you swallow too much. 

Vik was currently trying to play FIFA with you.  Which is fun because you both suck and it's a fair game cause neither new one of you know what's going on.  This would be like the 7th game you've played against him.  You two had ordered pizza and intend on  having a sleepover because it was just you two in the house. 

You had developed a fear of sleeping alone.

Whenever you slept alone, all it was was nightmares. You dying or Simon dying.  Or Simon being the killer, or you killing yourself by falling onto a knife....

So when you "told" Simon, he made sure someone was always home with you, especially if it was an overnight thing.  Even if it was Freezy or Joe Sugg...someone was always home. 

You and Vik finsihed your FIFA match and pizza just after 3am.  You satretd to become sleepy, so when you put your controller away, Vik did the same.  He was kinda like Simon, he could understand you when he tried.  Simon although was better at it, but Vik was learning. 

"I'll sleep on the air mattress, you take the couch,"  Vik says sleepily stretching his arms above his head.  You nod a smile he throws you a blanket and a large pillow.

"Wake me if you need me Okay?" Vik clarifies.   You smile smally and nod your head a few times before he gets up to turn the lights off, and saunters back to the air mattress on the floor in front of the couch. 

  "Simon should be home before Mid-day,". he says one final time before your head hit the pillow and you fell alseep quickly. 

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You woke up to someone carrying you up the stairs.  You still had the blanket draped over you, but you were awake nevertheless.  You glance up through your lashes to see Simon carrying you with a sheer determination set in his jaw.  You close your eyes feeling sleep over take you again. 

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You awoke alone.  But not in your room.  The sheets were a soft white anlong with the rest of the room, and the windows were wide open letting in a chilly breeze.  You shivered at your exposed shoulders and sat up, pulling the sheets with you. Just as that happened.

You open your eyes, hoping it was Simon you were going to see, but it was Josh. You sit all the way up the bed as Josh walks into the carpeted room.  He has a somber expression on his face as he comes to the bed, sitting on the side. 

"You alright, y/n?"  There are those words again.  You look down at your painted fingernails, picking at the polish. Josh sighed deeply and out of the corner of your eye, you see him rub his face. 

"It's not healthy to be clinging onto him, y/n,". Josh says with concern. 

"Move on,". He says gently, taking your hands.  You look up at him confused.  You couldn't just move in from almost dying.  It wasn't that easy, he thinks this is the simplest thing in the world.  No!  Your dying on he inside, you can't speak, you can't laugh, you can't scream out to let everything out because it's all bottled up! 

But he can! 

He can! 

Tears brim, your eyes as you look at your lap and Josh releases his hold on your hands and you bring them back to yourself.  Josh's arms wrap around you, hugging you closely. 

"I'm just worried, y/n.  Everyone has moved on, your still stuck," he says rubbing your back. 

Well yeah everyone's moved on they don't have to deal with being mute.

"C'mon, let's go downstairs have some breakfast, yeah?"  He offers.  You nod your head, suddenly hungry and get out of bed.  Your bare feet hit the comforting carpet as you follow Josh out.  He walks ahead of you while you take your time in waking up strolling behind him.  You rub your eyes to I fog your contacts and Simon appears by your side with a smile. 

"Hey, Y/n,". He says chipper, rubbing the back of his head. You smile back.

"Sorry, I had some things to do this morning and couldn't stay, but I'll make it up to you, yeah?" He rambles. You nod with a smile, following Josh down the stairs.

Simon wraps an arm around you and holds you close as the two of you descend down the stairs after Josh. Josh turns into the kitchen where JJ and Vik are already, they are eating waffles and Freya is making another batch. You and Simon make your way to sit at the island, you sitting between Vik and JJ, and Simon sitting on the other side of JJ.

"Good Morning Y/n,". Freya says, sitting the plate of a few waffles in front of you, a fork, syrup, and a glass of orange juice. You smile back kindly grabbing the syrup pouring a bit on, and digging in with your fork. You eat a few bites as if you were starving, shoveling it into your mouth quickly and chewing carefully. You swallow happily, liking that there's no pain.

"Feeling any better?" JJ asks, you turn to him glancing at Simon who was smiling at you contently. You smile back. It wasn't until JJ waved his hand in front of your face did you snap back to see him. Nodding your head answering his question. JJ looks at you strangely but goes back to his food after a small smile.

The atmosphere was comfortable and quiet while everyone ate, but you couldn't shake the odd feeling. something wasn't right, everyone was oddly happy, not that you were against it, but,..

You glance at Simon, he isn't eating. Is he not hungry? Simon is invested in his phone, the others not even noticing him. He seemed pale, but then again, he's always pale. You shake your head going back to your food.

The others were happy, thinking perhaps your pride was coming back, but you felt like you were just decaying.

More and more.

Bit by bit.

You feel something shake your arm, looking up to see Vik. He's looking at you with sad eyes, he gets up and motions you to follow him upstairs. You get up, taking one last swing of orange juice to wash down your waffles. As you desert the glass down on the table, you take one last glance at the guys and Freya.

Josh and Freya are submerged in themselves, JJ on his phone, and Simon....

Where had he gone?

Shaking your head, you follow Vik upstairs.

"My pride is no longer inside,"