The Unbreakable Series (Acceptance)

Chapter 1 (HIS POV)

BILL/SIR POV

I storm out of the room to calm down. She remembers damn it. I will never listen to that guy again. I should have the bastard killed. We were closer before than we are now. I wanted him erased. Now we back to square one. I don't think she is going to come near me again. she asked to write a letter to her family. I will let her but it will be a short one. I want to give her peace not them. I am only doing it that way she can say goodbye. them actually trying to get to her is not them. they wanted her gone. Now all of the sudden they care. I am not falling for it. for some reason Cheyanne always holds on to the good memories. When it comes to her family. she tries to block out all the bad ones. Sometimes I wish she wouldn't do that. it just ends up getting her hurt. Her family secrets are going to come out. there are a few things I haven't told her since I was trying to protect her. I do that I hide things including me. I want to be close with her like Billy but I don't know how to do it. I am good at protecting her. making sure she takes care of herself. When it comes to emotion I am flying blind and that scares me. she is the only person I have really connected too. she brought out the best in me. she is also the only person that can stop me. Unless I was drinking. Then nothing would stop me.

I let Billy take over when I walked in she was crying and hyperventilating. She was working hard to try and stop. It wasn't working. I let Billy out to help her. he knows how to get her to calm down. it took a while before she had control back. I hate seeing her like this. it hurts even more to know I am the one that caused it all. I was the one who decided to even give her the shot. I knew I shouldn't have. Even Billy was saying no. just let this work out. he said she would have come around. That the only thing I needed to be worried about is her on the flight. She has that fighter in her. if I wouldn't have given her the shot. Would be closer right now. She would have understood why I branded her. she would be pissed off and not want to do it. But at least she would have understood my motives. Billy might have even been able to talk her into it. I always have to do things the hard way. all I seem to do is make it worse. How can I fix this?

The problem with me is I won't admit I need help. I have always learned by doing. Just everything I do with her. I am wrong. I was meant to punish. when I know I abused her. I went too far. I have learned that when I am mad. I will never punish again. I was taught that when a Sub does wrong you punish. You do it immediately so the behaviour stops. Now I know you have to cool off. when I punished her before, I was never mad when I did it. I had no idea how much rage I was in. until after I punished her.

After Billy took her to bed. I took back over. I Went back to work sent a few emails. when I was done. I was headed to bed but I wanted to check on her. I walk in, sit on her bed. she has tear stained cheeks. I hate seeing her like this. I want to fix it. I pushed her hair out of her face. I ran my hand down the side of her face. I want to hold her. instead I kiss her on the forehead and walk to my room. I wish she was here.