The Punk and the Princess (A Dave Grohl Fanfiction)

Ch. 19 - Leave My Heart In Debt

You wake up the next morning with a throbbing headache, zero clothes on and no immediate memories of what happened the night before.

"Holy shit" You say without thinking as you turn and see a sleeping Dave next to you in bed. You lift up the sheet gingerly and nearly pass out when you realize he's naked too.

You mutter profanities to yourself as memories of last night's indiscretion flood back to you. How could you have been so irresponsible...there was no need to start anything up again with Dave if nothing could come of it.

Just then Dave wakes up as well and almost immediately you can tell he is not going to have the same feelings on your reunion.

"God it's amazing to wake up next you again" He says enthusiastically, leaning over and kissing you lightly.

You nod and avoid eye contact before reaching over and grabbing your bathrobe from the chair next to your bed,

"I'm gonna take a shower" You say and immediately his eyes light up.

"Mind if I join you?" He asks with a wink and you force a smile.

"I'm so hung over honestly I might throw up halfway through—trust me you don't want any part of that" You say, laughing weakly and he shrugs.

"No problem, I'm going to run out and get us some coffee and something to eat" He says, getting out of bed and pulling on his pants.

"See you in a bit" He says leaning over and giving you a peck on the cheek.

The spot where he kissed you burns on your skin. Even though you know last night was a mistake doesn't stop you from still getting a warm feeling inside whenever he touched you.

You immediately rush to the shower and turn the water as hot as it will go. You stand under the scalding water and try to wash off the booze and nostalgia that led to last night's indiscretion.

As you wash the last of the conditioner out of your hair and turn off the shower you debate how to let Dave down easy.  He seemed so excited and so into you and you didn't know how to tell him you could never be more than friends with him again. It ended too badly last time and not enough had changed in either of your lives.

You sigh as you wrap yourself in a towel and wipe the steam off the mirror to look at yourself. Part of you still wishes you could date Dave, an almost overpowering part of you, but you suppress it.

You refuse to make a choice that will inevitably lead to pain. Just as you're running a comb through your hair Dave taps lightly on the doorframe.

"I'm back" He yells through the closed door.

"I'll be out in sec" You respond. You pull yourself together and decide to go out and talk to him. There was nothing left to do but face your ill-fated decision.

"Thanks for the coffee" You say as you reach your kitchen table and he gives another signature Dave Grohl grin.

"I got you a muffin too—blueberry."

"My favorite" You say offering him a feeble smile.

"I remembered" He says and you feel your resolve melting as you look into his warm eyes.

"We need to talk about last night I think" You say awkwardly and Dave nods.

"I sort of got the vibe that you weren't as enthusiastic this morning as you were last night" He sighs and you don't know what to say in response.

"Listen Dave, I care about you so much. I had so much love for you when we were younger and I can't erase all that, I'll always love you. But the thought of being with you again, it just couldn't work" You say, reaching out and taking his hand.

"I just know that the problems we faced before haven't disappeared—they've gotten worse. Its too much for me to think of you being gone on tour for half the year and home for half, especially since now home for you is across the country." He nods understandingly but won't look you in the eyes.

"If I let myself care about you again I would be setting myself up for pain. I genuinely don't think I can take that again, even if all our relationship would be was just friends with benefits whenever you're in town. It would be too easy to get my emotions involved and that's a recipe for disaster"

"I'm so sorry Jules" He whispers, looking up at you again and you think you see moisture in his eyes. He blinks and you don't see it again, it must've been your imagination.

"I didn't realize how much I hurt you when I left before. I thought you didn't care about me, that's what you told me that day at the school. I had no idea...if I'd know..." He says and you cut him off.

"Don't finish that thought Dave." You warn him and he nods.

"I wish we could've had more time" He whispers and you rub circles into his hand with your thumb.

"I've wished for that too, I wished for that for most of high school." You agree.

"I think I have to go." He says getting up suddenly.

"Dave, I'm sorry. I'm sorry please don't go, we can still be friends" You attempt to stop him.

"I'm sorry too Julia. I just can't hang around you right now, I don't think its healthy" He says, grabbing his coat off the floor, "I'll be in DC for the holidays, maybe we can have lunch or something."

"Deal" You say, offering him the warmest smile you could muster. The tables have turned, you're now the one trying to be as animated as possible and he's not having any of it.

"Alright then, I better head out. I should meet up with the guys. Bye Jules" He says awkwardly.

"Yeah I gotta pack up too. Bye Dave. I hope I see you soon" You say reaching out and giving him a quick hug.

He walks out the door and you sigh as you watch him go. You immediately busy yourself with packing your stuff, anything to distract you from the overwhelming feeling that you had just made another grave mistake.