the pants book ≫ ziam & larry

ii

frankly, zayn is an asshole. but he's an asshole who's willing to admit to his flaws, and that in itself should be considered an accomplishment, really. its quite the wonder how liam couldn't just fucking ask him out already. zayn really is a strapping young man, (or, that's what niall had told him last week, anyway).

and it's positive torture getting dragged into harry's lame book club sessions every wednesday night, too- with liam just sitting there all cute and innocent, zayn watching his full pink lips discuss what he read the night before in that dumb pants book. to say the least, wednesday nights never fail to end with sexual frustration and domestic gay-lover fantasies over puppy brown eyes and inhumanly buff biceps, that's for sure.

"and when tibby slapped jeff, my entire life flashed before my eyes!" harry exclaims, pointing to his copy of the sisterhood of the travelling pants. a chorus of agreements echoes throughout the circle of people, but zayn only cares to watch liam nod his head lightly with bushy eyebrows creased in deep thought. then he processes what harry said and comes to the conclusion that maybe his best friend is an exceptional loser. and if he scoots his chair slightly to the left away from harry afterwards, no one has to know.

"i second that. tibby really does seem more of an intellectual elitist than a woman who slaps people for fun. i think jeff had it coming," liam comments, and it takes a moment for zayn to bring himself back from wonderland. liam literally just said intellectual elitist- zayn doesn't even know what that means, but he does know that it sounded smart and incredibly sexy and in about .5 seconds, his dick will make its presence known.

harry leans over and taps zayn's shoulder. "you're drooling. cross you're legs," he whispers into his ear. he really needs to choose better friends. the universe really is plotting against him.

"couldn't have said it any better, liam. zayn, have you got any thoughts?" a pretty girl with brunette hair named amelia asks with a smile- no, smirk. and really, is it that obvious? zayn looks out the window and tries to hide the fact that he's having a minor anxiety attack. it's not like he's read the damn thing- in fact, zayn is nearly positive the only book he's read from start to finish in the last five years was How to Train a Dragon, and was gravely disappointed upon making the realization that the book was most definitely not as spectacular as the movie.

he's only here because harry forces him to and liam is the most beautiful human being he's ever had the pleasure of stalking from afar, which, why is liam here anyway? he is too buff and manly and straight out of a porn hub magazine to be in a public libraries' weekly book club that is, essentially, 90% girls, minus zayn and H. but harry could pass for a woman, with his colorful head scarves and diamond studded boots anyway- so he's not sure if that even counts.

"well, um," he looks to harry, who's covering his face with the book to hide his amusement. "i think that tina was right when she did that thing. um. yeah."

"tibby," amelia corrects with a sly grin.

"fuck off," zayn laughs nervously, horrified at himself. and then, "oh- i'm. i didn't mean- i didn't mean to curse, um. i'm sorry. i didn't-"

harry snickers and zayn will never be the same. he looks over to liam, who is smiling politely because he's too nice to call zayn an idiot, and, yeah. clearly, his chances with him are completely shot dead to the ground.

"i agree. great opinion," liam offers casually. zayn looks around, can't possibly believe that he's conversing with him. he pinches the skin on the back of his hand, considers he might be dreaming. zayn's eyes are the size of saturn as he looks to harry, who gives him a subtle thumbs up, and whispers, "yeah, you!"

zayn figures he's been blessed by christ himself, with liam speaking to him and all. he wills his mind not to upset the heavens above and fuck up his one shot. he quickly racks his brain for something cool and witty to say that might make up for his previous embarrassment, but he's drawing a blank. liam waits expectantly and zayn panics and utters the first thing he can think of.

"yeah. um. great. you're great," and once that simple compliment slips through, zayn just can't stop. "great personality. great smile and lips. i stare at them a lot- you're-you're great," liam looks particularly taken aback while his cheeks sting a striking red, and when book club is over in five minutes zayn figures he might as well go dig his grave.

the room is silent as everyone's eyes bounce between zayn and liam- both clearly mortified.

"yeah, well. we have to go now. come on, harry," he pulls harry by the forearm and drags him out of the library and doesn't say anything until he's locked themselves both in the safety of harry's toyota.

and thats when his best friend starts shitting himself with laughter while zayn is close to tears. "great smile and lips. i stare at them a lot," harry mocks in a stereotypical dumb tone and even crosses his eyes and sticks out his tongue for good measure.

zayn buries his head in his hands and can't seem to get that puppy face out of his mind. now he's really gone and done it- let the cat out of the bag, spilt the beans, or whatever. liam must really thinks he's a right creep now- zayn has never been more sure of anything in the universe. he silently vows to never attend another dumb ass book club meeting for the rest of his natural born life.

he tells harry this.

"no, you have to come next week. liam's cheeks were red because he was like, flattered or something. i bet he thought it was cute," he reasons.

"no, i bet he didn't. i'm not worthy."

"zayn, c'mon. seriously, it wasn't that bad."

"just take me to my flat. i hate you," zayn lays his head back against the leather seat and sighs. fuck everything.

when the engine doesn't start after five minutes and its audibly silent in the car, zayn cracks his eyes open to see harry's chest shaking with laughter and crinkles by his eyes, as his hysterics have gone quiet.

"i'm sorry, it's just," harry hiccups, "i stare at them a lot."

"drive, dick."

when they finally arrive at zayn's flat complex, he doesn't get out.

"he looked so embarrassed. he probably isn't even gay."

"zayn, don't be so hard on yourself. you messed up, its over now. he'd be an idiot not to be interested in you, anyway. i mean seriously, if i wasn't with louis, i'd go for you, mate."

"is that supposed to make me feel better? you're fucking gross."

"ah, that's a smile, zaynie! smile! i love you. now get out of my car, asshole. i'm due for make up sex with louis."

"touching," zayn monotones, attempting to hide his ever so unmanly giggles that are threatening to spill out, because zayn malik is cigarettes and leather jackets and possessing the undeniable super power to make girls cry with a single glance.

so essentially, zayn malik doesn't fucking giggle, and despite knowing this lanky doof seated next to him since the sixth grade, he won't allow even his best friend the pleasure, because, as established earlier, zayn is an asshole.

which is why he's so completely and utterly baffled at his own infatuation with this liam guy. no one has broken him down so profusely like that muscular, scruffy looking bastard down at book club- its uncomfortable and too complex for zayn's mind, there is a reason he has never considered extending his education outside his high school diploma.

but granted it all, the world does seem a tad bit less intimidating with harry styles floating through life, full of bad puns and beauty guru DIY's he had found on youtube about how to make your very own flower crown. he decides he'll be around for a long while- longer than normal, and maybe he doesn't mind the company, anyway. also, its always given him a sense of pride to be apart of harry's family tree on facebook, listed as his brother.

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[a/n]: an early update because i have a final tomorrow and i procrastinate more than considered normal. also, i really do stink at making covers. can someone please do me a big favor and make me a better one? ill shout you out and possibly include you in the story if i can :) message me! happy reading!

xx valerie