the pants book ≫ ziam & larry

vii

 michael is a nice enough guy with really cool hair. its humbling that he's been willing to eat his own dog in jade's honor for the past nine months, which is why this might seem harder than she had been anticipating.

"order number 371!"

"i got it," michael smiles, and diminishes into the coffee house crowd to retrive jade's cinnomin toasted bagel.

she forces her lips to turn upwards in mock gradditude affection- it's painstaking and eagerness at the same time. her lungs rattle along side her heartless soul, and somewhere in the cloudless sky is a wise old woman encouraging the inevitable.

bound to happen, she repeats. bound to happen.

her mother once told her if you tell yourself something continuously, you will believe it.

by the time michael returns, he notices her quivering hands and that strange look in her eyes.

he sets the bagel infront of her slowly and takes his seat across from her in the booth, awaits the simple words he's been expecting ever since he met a friend of hers whos optimism was neverending last novermber at the christmas party. he remembers thinking that his eyes were as blue as nash grier's or something, it was crazy. michael laughs to himself a bit, and thinks, lucky guy. if jade is going to leave him for anyone, he's at least

michael has always known it was pretty extrordinary that they lasted as long as they did. a girl like jade doesn't stay with a guy like him any longer than six months. the universe has blessed him with a year. he supposes he's as greatful and appreciative as he can be considering the fact that his best friend is leaving him.

for jade, it's routine. has been for five fucking years. falling under the assumption that you're over that one guy you had a thing for ages ago, only to be proven wrong by another failed relationship. oh, and break someone else's heart in exchange.

"i have to tell you something," she begins. michael stares at her one last time and takes in the anger he wants to feel about everything and pushes it back for another time. he stirs the straw in his mochiato continuously in circular motions instead, and lets jade finish even though he already knows were everything is going.

michael sighs. "go on."

"i have feelings for someone else." jade is looking at everything but her partner of nine month's eyes, and it hurts.

"okay."

she sniffs, clears her throat. a nervous habit, he would know.

"okay."

its sad and disturbing how calm michael is being towards jade. she wonders if he's been cheating on her or if he's just that compassionate. both possibilities make her stomach churn.

around them, families, couples and friends chatter and dishes and silverware clink inside the kitchen. its a reminder of how daily life seems to keep on living when your world is crumbling.

"it's that niall guy, isn't it?" michael looks down at his hands. "what?! no!" jade is alarmed and frankly, caught off guard.

"jade, come on, you can tell me," he pauses, "we aren't together anymore."

we aren't together anymore,  we aren't together anymore, we aren't together anymore. the words loop inside her mind in awe and shock.

"i don't like niall!" jade exclaims deffensively, just as michael stands to say goodbye.

"mikey, wait."

"don't call me that," he tells her softly, and ouch.

"i'll miss you," he says, and then hugs her for maybe a moment too short, and then jade is alone, and its a bad feeling. 

the world has seemingly gotten bigger and suddenly she is just a tiny insuperior spec in the universe.

and as she replays the entire conversation through her head twenty seven times after, all she can think about is the fact that harry is loved so unconditionally by louis, even as often as they fight and swing at each other, within hours all is well again. as jade watches heartbroken from the sidelines, she is hung over the fact that despite leaving the only man she's ever desired, it will still never, ever, be her.

jade drives home that night and drinks enough alchohol to fill up a warehouse. some time around three a.m she cuddles a bottle of white whine and cries until there are no tears left for louis. she comes to the conclusion that if you drink enough vodka, it almost tastes like love.

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plot twist! missed writing. forgive me! i love you all. thank you for 209 reads! remember to leave feedback in the COMMENTS! :) X