Lost Coast

sea full of people

In a room full of people, I have never felt more alone. With all of my family around shipping my oldest brother off to the air force, I'm left alone. Everyone has a partner to play with, a group of friends to laugh with, or mothers to gossip with.

What is my part in this celebration?

There are some that take pity on me and try to mold me into their conversation, but eventually, I just fade out of the conversation. Don't get me wrong, I don't want attention. I would rather choose to be alone than surrounded by a bunch of people that don't like or care what happens to me.

At least I can take some comfort in knowing that in three days my brother will be out of my life.

You might believe I'm cold and heartless for saying that, but I don't care anymore.

That douche has done nothing but tease, hurt, and push me around. Having dirty underwear pulled over my head every time we went on vacation has left me sour. I always end up lying about bruises on wrists and shins from trying to defend myself from the constant fighting. If I was a boy, they used to tell me, I would've been treated so much worse. What could be worse than running away screaming from my brothers and being pinned down while they laugh at my tears?

"He's just trying to get a reaction out of you," my mother would say. He's just trying to get a reaction out of me? Jee, I had no idea~ I'll be sure to realize that next time he decides to waterboard me in the bathtub. Don't try to get a reaction out of me now, douche.

My mother told me not to wish death on anyone but it's so hard to be good when everyone else is bad.

I smile easily at people but it takes years for me to trust someone. We all have that one person that we wish would just disappear. Those kinds of people usually are so stupid that they sign away their own life to die anyway.