Snowed In

Chapter 5

He had prepared a chicken dish. He glazed the chicken, seared the rice and baked the asparagus then paired it perfectly with the wine he chose. Dinner was delicious.

The kitchen was cleaned, the dishes restored to their locations. The wine sealed and put in the fridge. Such was the way we had started to function together. We sat in the little nook in front of the large window and silently watched the sun as it started to kiss the horizon. We realized quite quickly that we had two very different views of the sunset. It was interesting what a few feet of elevation in the mountains did for your perspective. I was tired, very tired after a long day of travel but I didn't want to miss a second of the setting sun. I allowed him to distract me for a moment and snuck a peek at his expression as he too watched the sun. The light from the setting sun shone brightly through the window, setting his hair on fire and turning his eyes from a clear green to a whisper of brown.

His eyes mesmerize me more often than not. I didn't understand how they could be one color one moment and another the next. Most of the time they were green, just then they were light brown. I watched them until they shifted to me. I blushed when he chuckled. He had caught me staring at the one thing I was certain was more beautiful than the sun.

"You want to go upstairs? We can watch from up there. I am tired. This might be it for me tonight." He stretched and yawned big proving his point thoughtlessly. His face was drawn and tight. Something was on his mind but I was afraid to ask him what it was. It was clear what it wasn't. Thinking about the little fun items I had packed for him. I struggled with that and my own insecurities. His smile was soft and warm, but his eyes held hurt. I nodded and reached for his hand as I stood. He took it and swept me into a hug that was more friendly than anything else. Then he let his armrest around my waist and hooked his fingers in my belt loop.

"I bet it's beautiful up there." He whispered in my ear as we started walking to the stairs. He stopped and looked at the fire still burning in the fireplace. "I'm going to add some wood. It's cold outside, the heaters in the floors will keep us warm but the fireplace is enclosed in glass and there is no way for the embers and flyaway bits to escape into the house. I'd love to not have to relight the fire while we are here. It sucks." He let me go and navigated to the wood hopper then opened the fireplace cover, swinging the glass doors open gently. He turned to me before adding the logs he had grabbed to put on the fire.

"I'll meet you upstairs." His tone and expression were cool and dismissive. I felt scolded. I did my best to keep that little sting from my eyes and actions as I turned and prepared to go up the stairs without him. When I was certain that I had moved beyond view, I let the tears fall from my eyes then wiped them away with the back of my hand. I squared my shoulders and let logic interpret his actions and words rather than my heart. He was tired. He stated as much. When he was tired he was cranky. He was already dealing with his own emotions and fears, they tended to make him edgy and withdrawn. I didn't know what exactly was going on in his head. I could only hope that he would tell me. I didn't know if there was anyone for him between me and his Ex. I hoped there was. I didn't want to be his rebound. I hadn't asked. He hadn't told me. I felt fear mounting. I pushed it back down. I knew what I felt for him and what I felt from him. He'd talk to me when he was ready.

When I reached the top of the stairs and turned to go to the bedroom I looked down on him over the railing of the balcony. He was sitting on his haunches feeding the fire. He closed the doors and just stared, for a long while. He moved his hand in front of his face and moved it in the exact same motion I just had. He sat quiet and staring for a while more and my heart broke. Was he crying? Why? I wondered what memory he drug up that brought tears to his eyes. Insecurity screamed in my heart. Maybe he didn't want to be there with me, maybe it was someone else that he wanted to be with. I wasn't able to shake that feeling or stop the tears from falling that rained down out of my eyes. I turned away from him and walked to look out the window. The sky was scarlet and orange then gold across the dissipating clouds. I should have been knocked on my ass by how much beauty there was to see, but I couldn't shake the self-doubt and hurt. I just couldn't.