Chapter 15- i will, once pigs start flying
I reach the recording label but it looks like nobody is here yet. What type of unpunctual people am I working with?
I groan and pull out my water bottle and the pills that Jerry gave me.
They do quite a number on you if you're not used to strong stuff. Just yesterday, I took one and it didn't really affect me but when I swallowed two more then my hallucinations started.
I don't care if it makes me hallucinate, or sweat, at least it takes away the anxiety, nervousness and most definitely the depression.
I don't know why I started getting back on these pills again after everyone stopped me but these pills are something I can't stop. They have become a part of my life. I don't know what to do to get rid of them.
The worst part is that I don't want to get rid of them.
They help me at my worst state even though they create that state. I feel better just by taking them and knowing that they are in my system.
This is the only way to talk to dad again after he left. The hallucinations about dad are so real that I could almost feel dad being here with me.
It sounds pathetic but I was actually close to dad but because of some reasons, he left. He just left me.
Now, whenever I start hallucinating, it's always about dad. I talk to him about how my day passed and how mom always bothers me and he just listens.
Of course he's just a hallucination created by my brain but I like that.
Somehow it makes me feel connected to dad and to my birth parents. It makes me feel as if they gave me away to give me my best chance. It makes me feel that they love me. As though they want me back, none of which is true.
There is no one who could stop me from taking the pills. Kate, Chris, Tyler, Ian and Violet did stop me before but now it's different. Before, I had a reason to stop. I don't anymore.
That reason isn't valid anymore.
He is out of my life now and many misunderstandings have been created, all thanks to him. Liam is no longer my concern but now I should pay attention to my music career.
I won't let anybody know about the pills that I have been taking. No one would get to know about it.
Thank god that little shit said that I don't need a medical examination. Or else they would've figured that I have drugs in my system.
I sigh deeply and walk in the record label and it's dark except there is a dim light.
Suddenly I hear some make a sound which is coming from the closet full of instruments.
I smile make my way to the closet and open the door, slightly. There is a huge space for all the instruments but there is a door too.
I walk inside and open the door, which reveals a long hallway and rooms on the sides with doors.
A light bulb which is shining bright creating light for the hallway. I hear something else and I close the door shut behind me.
Who is this now?
I slowly walk to the end of the hallway and wait outside the door where all the noise is coming from.
Slowly the door open and someone walks out. I quickly form a fist with my palm and wait to attack before that person can do anything.
Apparently it's a dude and he has a hockey stick. This feels like dejá vu.
Ignoring my gut feeling, I storm towards this dude and he swings the hockey stick in my direction and I quickly duck and take him to the ground.
As I'm about to punch him, I notice that it's someone I know.
"You," I exclaim and pull my hand to myself.
"We have to stop meeting like this Stavish, someone could really get hurt sometime," Cayson says as I slowly try and get up.
He gets up before me and offers his hand. I look at him who has a small smile playing on his lips.
I move my bangs a little to the side and take his hand. As he pulls me up, I jerk backwards and quickly put my hands on his shoulders for support.
I didn't realize that my nails kind of dug into his skin because of all the pressure I put on him from the jerk.
I look up and find him really close to me. His face, almost an inch away from mine and I could feel his minty breath lingering on my forehead and nose.
His green eyes pierced to mine as if he was trying to express something from them. They appeared more darker than usual and more expressive.
He came a little closer to me and I shut my eyes quickly. I felt like I was panting so I minimized my breathing and took a deep breath in before opening my eyes and finding his face more closer than ever.
I didn't know what was happening but a loud thud in the instrument closet disturbed the moment and I quickly pulled away from him.
"Cayson?" I hear someone calling and Cayson quickly looks at the door and then back at me.
"We should continue that sometime Stavish," he winks before opening the door, revealing his brother.
I forgot his name but I knew that it was his older brother.
"Ready to rehearse?" He asks and Cayson nods who then looks at me for my answer.
"Yeah," I reply and his older brother leaves with a smile.
Cayson looks at me. He takes striding steps towards me and I take tiny steps back and in meantime, I am against the wall.
"I'm sorry for popping up like that. I heard someone close the door and I thought it was someone else. I'm sorry," he apologizes as he looks at me for a reply.
"Nice try little shit, I'm still not apologizing," I reply back and push him back by his chest and he chuckles.
"You will apologize to me once Stavish, you'll see," he winks.
"Yeah? I will, once pigs start flying," I reply back and leave the room.
Cayson says something which is incoherent to my ears but he quickly comes right behind me.
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