Do It Like A Dude (SebaCiel Highschool AU)

Chapter 6 (Ciel)

- This Is Fine -

  I've come to the conclusion that if I sit with Sebastian at lunch, then I'll make an asshole out of myself. That on it's own is not difficult to do, but I would still prefer that I didn't. I think that I'm a pretty cool person - I can't speak for everyone else, but I'm doing pretty fine. 

  I've been standing at my locker for a total of eight minutes and twelve seconds, trying to gather up enough courage to walk into the cafeteria. Elizabeth said that she was waiting and that it was all on me, which is fine.

For sure, yeah.

  Right after she told me where she was, she hit me with a shit ton of information that I did not ask for. Apparently it matters that I don't go to sit at Sebastian's table, that he has to come sit with me. I'm supposed to play 'hard to get', as she put it.

Of course I didn't mention that I was already hard to want, but who cares.

...Yeah, self-deprecation, right on. 

  I'm gonna fuck this up so bad, I can feel it in my bones. I wasn't ready for this, oh no. Look, my anxiety has made an appearance, fantastic. Right, so the plan is that I go over to my table and sit with my friends because I can't act like I want Sebastian.

Total fucking lie, by the way - I want him so bad that it hurts. 

Which is fine - everything is fine.

Fuck.

I straighten my shoulders and push open the doors to the lunch room, my eyes immediately landing on Sebastian sitting with his friends.

I swear, why does everyone have more friends than me, what am I doing wrong?

  I pull myself together and look away, spotting my own friends instead. I wave at Lawrence and walk over, taking a seat next to Edgar. Smiling, I reach over and fiddle with the red ribbon holding his long, silver hair back. Edgar's eyes remind me of Sebastian's - almost the same deep red color. I wince when Maurice leans across the table and tugs at the hem of my collar, making a remark about how I look like a 'lame poet' in the turtleneck. I stick out my tongue and turn to Gregory, snickering when he curses because he got black lipstick on his teeth. Next to him is my friend Cheslock, who's busy painting his nails to match Greg's - the same black he's been using forever. Vat plops down on the other side of me, slinging an arm around me. 

"So," Clayton starts, leaning against Herman. "That blonde girl - she just left - told us pretty much everything. Nothing we didn't already know, of course, but still. What's your plan, Ciel? Are you going to use the posters of Sehun and Yoongi in your room to seduce Sebastian?"

"Yeah, and what about that Levi body pillow? That would be an interesting threesome..."

"Shut up, Maurice. Stop attacking me, shit. This is why - "

"This is why mom doesn't fucking love you - "

"Stop quoting vines all the time, Blavat!"

"Fuck you, Greg. Your black lips make you look dead, you know."

"Good - I want to die."