How My Life Has Progressed In the Past Three Days: A Story

For the abused

How my life has progressed in the past three days : a story
I feel for the girls and boys who get abused and raped and then never see the abusers again like how you see that one city bus on your way to school one time and never again. I also feel for the boys and girls who get raped, abused or sexually assaulted and their abuser plays an active role in their life, a colleague, a teacher, or a classmate. How my abuser pops into my life like everything is just peachy and he thinks we're friends. Sure, I stay friends with someone when they lie to me, manipulate me and turn me against some of the bestest friends I've ever had at 13-14 years of age. I laugh and pretend like you didn't slam me against a wall and force my sweet kisses out of me like honey from a bees nest, you were a wasp. In the hallways I see you everyday with your arms around a poor girls waist and every once in awhile she removes ur talons from her skin but there's also other times where you just keep clawing at her pale skin. I was minding my own business at the mall with my friend and I get a text from that girl telling me to back off and that he's her boyfriend, and not mine. In my mind she said " back off from my master, I'm his slave, ur not". I fire back something about him being a cheater out of my need to warn her or my need to defend myself. The pale skinned girl turned soft like a peach when it's too ripe and exposes that he's done the same to her. I promise not to tell him or show the texts that's she's unhappy in that relationship with him. We talk and talk and I console her telling her she's not dirty, she's not at fault, her feelings are justified and safe. A day passes in my already semi dreadful life and I get a text from a friend asking if I've been talking shit about my abuser with his new girlfriend and I say I've just been telling her my story because I have. The friend gets mad at me and tells me to stop playing him but why on earth would I do that when I have a girl to save, that friend held me when the abuser hurt me all 15 times and now they choose a wasp over a honey bee. That same friend demands a screenshot of something the girl said and I can't risk losing friends so I do. What I don't know is that friend will send the screenshot to the abuser. Soon after that I get a text from the abuser playing the victim and I'm yelling and confronting him about how you played the victim for 8 fucking months and I will have no more, I will have no more compassion for the boy who decides girls heart's are his playground and their pussies are his war zone. I get a text from the girl freaking out at me and I said it wasn't my fault and it was out of my control that he saw it because it kind of was. One of my other best friends texts me telling me and the other friend to back off of his relationship and I start sobbing because I wanted to save someone, not lose two friends. And that's where my anger comes in because before the abuser and his "girlfriend" block me I see on his story that they're still together, and I feel like a failure, because that's what it makes me isn't it?  Why would they choose an abuser? It's their life don't get me wrong but why? Am I just forgotten has everyone just forgotten what he did to me and if I disappeared and fizzled out of existence right now would anyone notice at all? A weekend of victim blaming.