Signing Love (#Wattys 2018)

Chapter 10

One week later

Sami POV

I yawned as I awoken by a hand that was on my cheek. Fortunately, that hand was warm, and soft, like a bunny. No matter where the hand is, I could recognize who's it was, even a mile away.

My eyes fluttered open, and blinked them a few times, to adjust to the fairly bright light (although it was dimmer than usual). I yawned once again before smiling at the person who was sitting on my bed before my eyes.

"How are you feeling?" Mom whispered. My ears are super sensitive in the morning. If I hear something loud, I just become really cranky for the rest of the day. I wanted to sit up, but Mom shook her head, wanting to stay on the bed, like how I was.

"Good." I was feeling better about myself, after the two weeks of bullying, and the suicide attempt. But that doesn't make me feel better about myself, totally. I mean, people don't know the truth yet. They just can't understand, can they?

"That's good to know. How do you feel about the fact that you would be going to school in a few days?" She asked me. I tensed at her question.

Go to school? I thought. There is no way that I could ever forgive myself for going to school.

Almost as if Mom read my mind, she placed her soft hand on my cheeks, and stroke it with her thumb to make me calm down.

"I'm sorry I asked. I shouldn't have. You have gone through too much, and I don't think that I could ever see you being bullied."

"You don't have to be sorry, Mom. I know that you would want me to go to school. But this isn't the best time to talk about it." I gave her a sad smile. I knew that this was never the right time to talk about it. I mean, I'm in a state where my Mom has to make me stay in bed the whole day, because she afraid of what I would do to myself again.

"So, I looked at your phone, and you got a ton of texts from Sara. And she said sorry-" I knew that she was going to say something else, but I didn't want to hear it. I rolled my eyes, and I sighed heavily, making sure Mom would hear.

"Bullshit."

"Look, Sami, I think that you should give her another chance at this. You see, she is your best friend in all of your schools. She grew up with you, and I think that you should say that you are sorry that you are ignoring her."

"There is no way in the world that I am going to do that. Ever."

"Sami-" she started, although I cut her off.

"Could you just... leave? I just need to have my own time. I don't want to talk about it right now. Please?" I massaged my forehead to let go of the bad memories that just refused to leave my head.

At that moment, I couldn't help but think back to the night I attempted suicide.

Flashback

I wiped a lonely tear as I thought about everything that has happened this morning. The bullying, the sadness, the sexual harassment, the so-close-to-death situation, and now. I can't help but think about it.

I looked up, to see that Nathan walked into my room, holding- what I assume is- a bowl of hot soup. I wiped another tear that slipped down my face, and I put on a smile. I was happy that I saw Nathan, but behind that, there was a totally different thing going on.

He took a seat next to me, and placed the bowl on my nightstand. I hugged him, and he hugged me back.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me, pulling away. I just shrugged, and I looked down at my lap.