Dear mood disorder:
I hate you. I hate you so much. I can't stand you for even a second. I'm glad you can make me happy, but those times are few and far between. I hate you.
You make me angry for some time, then depressed, then anxious, then happy, then sad again. My mood becomes all over the place. You're despicable. You build me up with false hopes of happiness only to crush them as if they were made of sand in an instant. I don't know what normal moods feel like thanks to you.
Because of you I only experience content and being okay for a few months. Then the bad months happen. I spend my nights crying because of you. I want to throw things (including myself against walls) for no good reason. I've almost punched my family members with all my force just because they did something to mildly inconvenience me. I've had to pace the house for quite some time just to cool off. I'm tired of my emotions being all or nothing. I want to be okay for once. I want to not be constantly trying to figure out what I'm feeling. Sometimes I honestly don't know what I'm feeling and I can't answer anyone when they ask. It's not because I don't want to answer. I really don't know.
You are ruthless, showing no mercy, no thought towards my well being whatsoever. Stop tormenting me. Stop messing with my emotions. Leave me alone.
Sincerely,
Luna
YOU ARE READING
Dear Mental Illness
Non-FictionTrigger Warning (self harm and suicide mentions and the like) this is the letters to all the things that are supposedly wrong with me.
