(this goes with my anxiety)
Dear OCD tendencies:
Leave me alone. Stop pestering me with impulses. I'm tired of you. You wear me out to no end.
I don't like picking the skin on my fingers because you make me see little flaws on them that probably aren't even there. I don't like my obsession with blood. Because of this I feel as though I have to cut. I have to press erasers against my wrists when I don't have razors available. I have to bleed. You make me think the scars look pretty. You make me think the beads of blood that form from cuts look beautiful. I despise you.
I don't like having unwanted thoughts pop into my head. I don't want you to continue. I'm tired of images of axes in my head and blood and gore every time I close my eyes. Stop it. Sometimes I can't help but burst into tears and/or frustration because I can't stand the images. I hate thinking if I don't eat things in pairs that I'm going to end up alone. I hate thinking that if I don't do something a certain way then something bad will happen. I hate whenever a sad episode of a show comes on TV then someone will leave me. I hate fearing that I might hurt someone. I hate imagining that I will. I hate worrying about these things. It takes up so much energy.
While the medication helps a lot in making you go away, you still pop up every once in a while. I advise that you stop.
Sincerely,
Luna
YOU ARE READING
Dear Mental Illness
Non-FictionTrigger Warning (self harm and suicide mentions and the like) this is the letters to all the things that are supposedly wrong with me.
