honey ◇ ai

a monster

Taking a deep breath, Luke allowed himself to relax a bit in his office as he glanced over the diminishing stack of papers on his desk. He'd gotten through two sections in the past three hours which came as a true accomplishment for the young assistant.

He gave the students credit though, a two page paper regarding economics wasn't the most interesting task they would face during the semester. Several of his students though had put in a great amount of effort which was somewhat of a selfish gratification for Luke.

Of course there had been some questionable responses but that made the grading a less arduous task.

Reaching down into his bag, Luke pulled out a bag of crisps and his phone, deciding to take a well deserved break. His feet were propped up on the corner of the desk as Luke struggled to tear open the bag, prompting him to toss the bag down in a fit frustration, "I shouldn't eat this shit anyway," he griped prior to turning his neglected phone back on.

The lock screen was filled with notifications including countless student emails saying they wouldn't be making it to class or are having trouble with a assignment, a missed call from his mother and three text messages that were all from Ashton.

These messages were all too familiar to Luke. A pit formed in Luke's stomach as he panic flooded his mind.

Luke replied a quick 'On my way,' before pulling his papers into a poor excuse for a pile and pushing his chair in before grabbing his belongings and making his way to his car.

He turned his radio dial to end the deafening silence. Ashton hadn't done this in ages, he'd been fine. He couldn't afford to relapse.

Especially over a girl.

His phone continued to buzz as he pulled onto the main road, a bit recklessly to be more accurate. Luke knew that Ashton could be unpredictable in situations like this, especially when no one saw it coming.

-

"Ash, what the hell is up with you," Luke shook his head at his roommate as he layed his satchel on the kitchen counter.

"Seriously, you look like you've seen a ghost. What's going on?" He continued, his demeanor seeming much more urgent, "You need to let it out mate, it's the only way I'll be able to help."

Ashton remained quiet as he picked at a stray thread on his jeans, "I'm just worried I'm gonna lose control. I don't want to hurt her."

Luke loosened his tie before he land on the other side of the couch, leaving him at a slight distance from the seemingly distraught man beside him.

"Hurt who-" he questioned slightly frightened at the impending response.

"Luke I'm having such a hard time holding myself back. She's too perfect for this cruel world. No one deserve her especially not me."

At that moment he froze up, his head thrown down in his hands, his breathing ragged. Anger, lust and desire coursed through his sorry veins as Luke remained silent.

This hadn't happened in years and Luke felt helpless. He thought Ashton was better, he thought his best friend had recovered but worry had always set in the back of his mind.

He'd been so hesitant to encourage Ashton to go back to university. At first everyone who Luke spoke to said the distraction would be good, the interaction would help him toward living a normal life again but Luke wasn't sure that being immersed into a new place with thousands of unknowns would be the best option.

So Luke moved with Ashton, from Australia to the Americas. It would be a fresh start for both of them. They could forgive since Ashton had struggled to forgive.

Ashton would never be able to forgive himself.

"And I'm a monster," Ashton groaned out, his hands forming fists at his sides.

"Have you talked to her?"

"Every single day I try, but I don't want to frighten her," Ashton sighed.

"You're acting like this girl is ethereal mate, she's just another college kid," Luke offered.

"Fuck you, Lucas," he seethed, darting from the couch only to slam the front door, exiting the apartment without another word.

Luke threw his head back for a second, his mind running aimlessly. His hands were tied, unfortunately not in a desirable manner.

Ashton was a grown man, he wouldn't listen to Luke's advice but he was determined to help his best friend regardless.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket Luke began to scroll through his contacts, clicking upon her name. He didn't want to do it but he needed the opinion of the person who knew him best.

"Ann, hello, I hope this isn't a bad time," he sighed, "But I'm worried about him."

Ashton was far gone by the time Luke had even considered picking up the phone.

"Helene," he muttered as his feet advanced along the pavement, "My beautiful Helene."

He had stormed out of the apartment nearly empty handed aside from his keys. His phone remained on the kitchen counter, his wallet though was safely in his pocket.

Ashton had finally made way to the parking lot, his eyes quickly landing on his secondhand Rover. He had no idea where he was going but he didn't care. He had no idea what his next steps would be either but he needed to get away for a bit. Ashton would never pardon himself if he was to lay a hand on her but his thoughts loomed back to the guilt he would face if someone else got hold of her.

Despite the drawn out contemplation, he pulled himself up into the drivers seat, his hands gripping onto the steering wheel, so hard, hands tinged red yet his knuckles were turning an off shade of white.

Turning the keys in the ignition, there was only one thing he had in mind but he couldn't get himself to carry it out.

Not yet at least.

↠

Hey Babes, this took an unexpected turn? But I guess it will make this better.

So what do you guys think is up with Ashton?

I go back to college tomorrow so there goes my free time. Whoops. Hope you all are well and if not, drop me a message and we can talk.

Stay beautiful.