BTS Suga : Around the World With You

Expectations

A week has passed and Yoongi still hasn't talked to me. I mean it's not like he calls and texts me everyday. But it's been a week. And that is a record.

I lie in bed staring at my phone screen

"I'm sorry.... "

I read my unsent text. I've been contemplating whether I should apologize first or not. I mean, I'm still pissed at him for what happened the other night. But I feel like it was my fault too.

"Was he really jealous?"

I keep thinking whether it's true or not. But right now, I don't really care if it isn't.

Really, I don't. Now that I think about it. It's stupid.

Really, it is. I thought about this in the past few days that Yoongi has been silent. And I realize that I'd rather remain just friends with him and keep my bestfriend. Rather than exposing what I truly feel, all the feelings I try so hard to ignore and tell him but lose him along the way.

I shake my head from that ugly thought. I close my eyes and press send.

And now, we wait.

It's not until I step out of the shower that I see his reply.

"I'm sorry too. I'll call you later, okay? My Dad's been watching over me all morning it's driving me off the wall."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay!" I quickly typed before heading downstairs.

We decided to meet later that afternoon at a cafe near his office.

I'm a bit nervous to see him again for some reason. I arrive at the cafe a little early than our agreed time. I check on my watch, 4.50pm. He says he gets off by 5.30pm.

I take my time by the counter checking out the menu board above. But I wasn't really reading it. At the back of my head I'm thinking about what Yoongi and I would talk about.

Would he bring up what happened last week? Are we going to fight again? Shall I ask him what he meant about what he said before he walked out on me that night?

"Scuse me, are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna order?"

I look behind me and I feel my face flush. I didn't realize I was holding up the line.

"Sorry." I mumbled and step aside. Instead I look around for a vacant table and find one near the entrance. I make my way to the table and check my phone instead. I didn't really feel like having coffee anyway. I scrolled through instagram and twitter for anything interesting. Found none. But I continue to scroll thru my feed while waiting.

The door chimes when it opens and I look up to see Yoongi looking around. He spots me right away and flashes his gummy smile. And just like that, all my worries from earlier melts away.  

"Hey!" he sits down in front of me. "You been waiting long?"

"Not that long. How's work?" I ask him.

He let out a deep sigh "I don't really wanna talk about it. I'm too stressed out for that."

I realize I'm seeing him clearly for the first time since last month. The lights were a bit dim the last time we saw each other at the bar. And now, with the cafe's brightly lit interior I can see how he has dark circles around his eyes. And he has become slightly thinner than usual.

"You're working too hard. Do you still sleep?"

"I try to. Honestly it's bit difficult working there. But, I'll be fine... it's just my first month anyway." Yoongi shrugs. "I see you haven't ordered.What do you want?"

He doesn't wait for me to answer and gets up to order.

"Here." Yoongi places our drinks on the table a few minutes later. Of course Yoongi knows what I want. A hot caramel macchiatto. While he ordered an iced americano for himself.

We talked for what seemed like hours. Talking about everything, leaving out what happened last week with Tae and the last night we had in Phuket.

Perhaps we were both avoiding it. But, I don't mind not touching the subject at all. What's more important for me right now is the fact that we are back. Like the old times. When nothing such as jealousy or confusing feelings would complicate us. Just pure and true friendship.

We extended our coffee with pizza and burgers for dinner. I didn't realize how much I've missed for the past few weeks. Over dinner, he shows me all the photos from our trip last month. Yoongi is not the type to upload pictures online. So I haven't really had the chance to see it all. I was scrolling through all pictures from his camera. Laughing at the funny ones I personally took, and becoming silent when I suddenly get to the part where Lily's on. I stop and linger for a moment on the picture with just Yoongi and Lily. I remember taking these. At the time I was just really happy we were all getting along well. But looking at the image again now, it brings me an uncomfortable sting in my heart. I quickly move on to the other pictures just before Yoongi had the chance to look over my shoulders.

We just finished arguing on who will pay for dinner when Yoongi clears his throat. "Uhm, 'bout the other night...."

I freeze in place and hold my breath. Bracing myself for what's coming.

"I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I feel awful. It's just that...-"

"It's just that, what?" I ask.

Yoongi ruffles his hair. "You know how Tae is.... I mean, sure you can like him. I mean, maybe you can. But, that kid's never serious you know?"

I shuffle uncomfortably in my seat.

"And he tends to forget what happens to him on the next day whenever he drinks too much." Yoongi continued. "I guess what I'm trying to say is to be careful."

I'm a bit taken aback by what he just said. Was that all what the fuss was about? That he was just worried Tae was playing around?

"Y-you were not.... for lack of better word... jealous?" I regret right away I had to ask that stupid question.

"Of who, You and Taehyung?" Yoongi somehow found it amusing. "No way. Why would I be jealous. I was just worried you might play along with him. Just, don't. Okay?"

The bill arrives and he fishes his wallet out and pay for dinner.

I might have lost my sense right after that. I'm just surprised when Yoongi keeps saying my name and when I look up again, we are now standing in front of my house.

"You okay? Seems like you were deep in thought" Yoongi looks at me worriedly.

"Huh? Oh, uhm... no I just remembered that I had to run some errands for my mom tomorrow morning. And it's getting late. Thanks for taking me home." I tried my best to force a smile.

"Sure, okay. Uhm, I'll see you next week,yeah? Good night." Yoongi ruffles my hair and turns around to get back on the cab waiting for him.

And once again, I stood frozen on the ground. My cheeks stung a bit from the chilly air. I bit my lip to keep the tears from falling. And I watch the cab's headlight disappear from ahead.

Did I expect too much
from you Min Yoongi? I bitterly thought as a tear fell on my left cheek.

💔