Butthole, a Bob Duncan Fanfic

Chapter 8

I cant beleev my seeing bals!!! 

"Amu?? Wyd??" This dood better jus be a frend cus if not ima have to kms. Lewk sat there with big wide eyes (not as big as my butthole ;) ) The bois couldnt beleev what they saw. Dis guy wasnt even hot!! Did she rlly think this buckwheat pancake lookin scrub is bettr than mi. 

"BUB! I didnt expect u 2 be here!!! Y is half one five es oh es here???"

EXCOOOOSE ME

FIVE ES OH ES WHO 

DIS IS FIVE SAUSE 

"FIRST OF ALL, BITCH." omg. i just said potty mouth word to amu. Calerm fell over bc he thought it was dream. im obvi rlly mad at amu cus i used bad word, this isnt lik me. 

"its FIVE SAUCE AMU. FIVE. SAUCE. JUST LIKE GUCCI MANE SED: if a man dose not have the sauce then he is lost but tha same man can b lost in the soce haha am i rite. im rite so u need to get it right amu"

im such a sav rn lmao i hate amu sm

dis guy ???? who exactly???? stands up and ses to me ' Yo bub chill out no need to be so rood, u just wish you were as cool as me and amu. we look better together ur just fat and im hot so get pwned.' HOW. ROOD. its not my fault im fat ok i cant walk haf the tyme bc my butthole condition?  does he not know abt it?? how ignorant and dumb. dis guy is a dummy. 

"who even r u anyway" i ask him bc like how is he even relavant rn screw dis guy. 

"my nam is Eric and im a cool dood lmao swag". He is so not a cool dood, he rood. (angerey emoji x300) He cant even b that swag. anywey he reaches for his back pocket and i thot he was going for a gun an gonna shoot mi bc who likes fat guys?? no 1 so it made sense for him to shoot mi. next thing u knwo BAM he pulls out a vape.

A VAPE. he chucks the fattest cloud ive ever seen in my lyfe!!!! 

Wow he rlly is cool. "U see this bub, isa cloud machine" i start cryin. hes too cool wtf im mad he tricked me i thought he wasnt gona b cool bc he jus so rood tf. 

"holy shit bub hes actually a baller" says calerm on the ground right b4 going back slep. "STFU CALERM HEs NOT THAT CEWL" im so mad rn wheres bb nini????? hes alwas there 4 me when im upsetti spagetti.

"NINI?????" "yes bub?" hes oN the swings!!! he culd get hurte!!! I ran to my bb nini and got him off swing and hugged him so hard bc that scared me sm like i cant rn (I touched his butt  hehe this is inappropriate) we r having such a good moment literaly screw amu and dis guy i only want nini

ofc dis guy chimes in "u know what bub niall is a pop sensation he is capable of doing stuffs on his own leave him alone he doesnt need u." Nini starts crying and i think i have to end dis guy. no BODY. NO BODY. speeks to nini that way smh he gonna catch these mf hands. 

"EXCOSSE me dis guy? eric?? whoever u r like i dont even care what ur name is bc u suk sm??? 1first u get w amu knowin she my wif and 2second u bully my bb nini????? not on my watch!!!2!" the steam coming out of my ears r bigger than his stoopd vape clouds lmao hes still so cool tho liek he vapes. I crack my finger bones and stare him down lke a night halk CAW CAW mf. "Bub pls no" say amu. "AMU THIS NO IVVOLV U STFU"

w no thinking i swing at dis guy and he falls to the grownd like calerm did. nini  lewk amu and calerm scream. dis gi try to stand to swig back but i think tf not?? lmao. I start feedin him from rite to left until he finlly gets up and runs awey. 

"thats right mofo!! run hom to mommi!! i bet she dont even liek u anywey lmao loser!!' i screm at him. lewk looks at me like wtf bub??? and nini runs over for another hug aw love him 'bub u saved our lives!!' Im literally so hapy rn like i just beat dis guy up im savage try me amu. me n the bois gather in a group hug and start cryin like i cant beleev that jus happend.

ofc amu walks over to us 2 ruin it ew. she breaks da circle and looccs at me ans seys 

"u not the mahn i used 2 lov anymore bub, i want divorse."