Abracadabra, You're Gay (Kellic)

Fourteen

double updates because i disappeared for awhile!

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"What does that mean?" Kellin asked slowly, unsure of himself.

His voiced seemed to boom around the empty room, making me feel smaller than I actually was.

"Is it incomprehensible to you?" I said, my voice catching a sharp edge.

Kellin visibly softened, aware of what a vulnerable position he'd caught me in and working his way around it. "I'm just a little... shocked is all."

I rubbed my palms together uneasily. "Is it not the answer you've wanted for over a hundred years?"

Kellin rolled his eyes. "You bloody well know it is."

"Then?" I sort of seemed like a challenge. I didn't know why I was suddenly acting all irritable and angry.

Kellin tensed and his voice was sharp and furious. "You really fucking waited this long to tell me? Especially after you fucking knew I loved you?"

I swallowed nervously. "I was angry at you."
My head was now being consumed by the fact that he had outright said he was in love with me but I was trying to shake that away for the moment.

"And now, well, I'm angry at you," Kellin's voice was like poison. "Jesus Vic, you knew all this time and you... I can't believe you right now."

He shook his head and I noticed his hands were trembling slightly.

"I couldn't get it all out of my head," I tried to defend myself. "All that anger stayed with me for so long and this is the first proper conversation we've had since then."

"It's not an excuse," Kellin's voice wobbled a little.
"You knew for a hundred fucking years," he drew in a breath, "and you did nothing."

"Kellin I had just lost everything when you told me," I said irritably. "Or do you not remember? When you told me I was half dead and by the time I could do anything about it we...when I figured it out... we had...we-"

I was stuttering, I realised and I wanted to claw out my own vocal cords for embarrassing me like this. "We had -" I swallowed thickly. "We had lost everything. Everything, Kellin. We didn't even have a roof over our heads."

"You blamed me for that," Kellin gasped out air. "I needed you then, Vic - as my best friend, and you... you abandoned me."

"I was eighteen, I was so hurt by it all," I sighed, rubbing my hand over my eyes. I hadn't expected to have this conversation and it was slowly draining the life out of me.

"So was I," he shrugged. "Or do you not remember that?"

He scoffed and continued. "Or were you just too consumed in blaming me? You were the one person I trusted the most in the world and you actually thought so little of me to think that I'd... do something like that."

"Kellin-" I began.

"I just don't want to hear it anymore," Kellin sighed. "Do you know how it feels? For your best friend to shun and hate you for a hundred years even though he's not even sure why?"

"Kellin that's not-"

"That's exactly what you told me," Kellin snapped. "Didn't you just say how you needed an outlet to put all that grief?"

"Kellin, it wouldn't have happened if you didn't start it," I said, my voice rising.

"It's not like I did it purposely," Kellin screamed. "I loved them too, Vic!"