Abracadabra, You're Gay (Kellic)

Nineteen

lol this took such an unexpected turn even i wasn't ready for it

-

"Just... help me with it," Tony grumbled. "And stop laughing, it's bad manners."

Jaime tried to stifle the giggle and fell short, his face turning red as all the blood started to rush to his cheeks in his excitement.

"I said stop," Tony said passively. "It's very rude."

"I don't think he can help it," I said, a slow grin starting to make the edges of my mouth curl upwards.

"Vic, I swear if you start-" Tony began, his voice rising.

"I'm not going to laugh," I said laughing.

Tony rolled his eyes and impatiently glared daggers into the eyes of both of us. "Can you just help me?"

Jaime wiped tears from his eyes, looking at everything in the room except Tony in case he started cracking up again.

I don't think Tony could blame us though. The entire bottom half of his body had been replaced with the body of a goat. Tony was a walking, talking satyr - goat legs and tail included.

"Does it hurt?" Jaime choked out.

"No," Tony mumbled. "But I want to get rid of it even so."

"I can't imagine why," I said, putting my hand against my cheek and looking at him teasingly.

"You both suck," Tony exclaimed. "And I can't believe that I got saddled with the most powerful, yet utterly useless wizards in the world as best friends."

"You lurve us," Jaime jeered.

"Aren't you two too old to act so stupid?" Tony sighed. "You'd think a century would be enough time to mature somebody."

"In wizard time, we're technically in our 20s," I answered delightedly. "So, maybe in another three centuries we should have matured significantly."

"I will not be friends with you in three centuries time," Tony said. "I can barely handle the two of you as it is."

"You have to admit," Jaime defended himself. "This is fucking hilarious."

"For you maybe," Tony said, crossing his arms.

"Vic," Jaime blurted suddenly. "Victor."

"What Jaime?" I asked, looking at him quizzically.

Jaime suddenly had a maddening look cross over into his eyes. He looked like he had gone insane and the grin that was spreading across his face wasn't doing much to reassure me that he hadn't.

"I just thought of the best experiment," Jaime said, his voice rising as he tried to subdue his laughter.

"What?" I asked again, his smile spreading to my own face.

"You know how Tony's technically a goat now," Jaime began.

"I already fucking hate where this is going," Tony snapped impatiently.

"M-maybe," Jaime managed through his laughter. "Maybe-"

"Maybe what?" I urged Jaime, hoping he'd stop laughing and finally spill whatever it was he was thinking about.

Jaime took a minute to reconcile himself. "Maybe we can ask Kellin to speak to him... in goat."

Jaime immediately doubled over and wheezed into his own legs, falling to his knees as he shook uncontrollably.