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"memories"

Finn's pov.

"So what do you want to do finn, you know, for your birthday.." gray looked at me with is beautiful eyes glicening in the light. He slid his  warm hand and locked it with mine. He didn't know. I thought. I thought on my flash backs. The dinner. The car. The lights. The cops. My father. The Cutts on my wrist. Jessica. The eating disorders.

"Finn?" He now pulled my jaw to look me with his gleaming gray eyes. My eyes met with his and I took his hand off my jaw and let go his hand. There was so much going through my head. The car crash. Everything I went through. I caught myself from falling. Gray looked at me as he held me. He gave a confused face.
" What's wrong finn?" He said putting me on my feet, holding my wrist as he tightened his grip.
"no! Let go!" I stumbled almost falling.
He let go and looked at me in shock.

" do you just want me to leave?" He said letting go.

"Yes, just please leave.."

.........................

I lay in the rather dirty bath tub as the water Hit my freezing body, blinding my vision. I felt as if I was a lost puppy. The night of my birthday. I can still visally remember it. We were on our way from dinner. We were laughing and I could see street lights.

"Okay finny, remember we love you" my father said as he turned around from the wheel to face me.
"DAD LOOK OU-"

CRASH.

I could feel the glass cutting through my skin. The glass in my hair. I looked up to see  my father, distorted. I could see the flashing blue, red lights. That night my father died on the scene.

.............................

I woke up five minutes later, the cold water still hitting my body. I sighed and got out of the shower. I dressed in Gray's shirt that read,

Glifos
It was his favorite band. As the steaming air suficated me I look through the restroom cabinet. Under the pill I stored the razors. I picked one up and hesitated. But after procastinating for a minute, I slid the small blade across my wrist. I grunted a bit, from being cut free for a while. Each time done, the pain grew less and less. I finally opened the door to let the cold air hit me. I walked, more like slid my feet to my room. To look at the black sheet on my bed, there laid my phone that went off every five seconds.  I jumped on the bed and checked the messages.

Gray♡: hey babe, I don't know what happened but I want to confort you.

Gray♡: are you okay?:(

Gray♡: where are you?
Gray♡: I love you finny

I lay in my bed ignoring every text.

Ding
Incoming call from: gray♡
Answer                 decline

I declined the call and continued reading. His birthday was not in till a month. He could wait. I can wait. I took off my ear buds and turned off my lamp and fell asleep.
...........................

*2 weeks later*

Two more weeks until my birthday. I had been cutting more frequently. It felt like they just piled up on each other. More bruises all over my body. My eyes had sunken into my face. I decided I was going to the record store to get coffee. I layered my Jackets and walked out the house with my scetch book in my hand. When I got there I walked in reading wattpad on my phone not really paying attention to everything. I felt something hit my shoulder hard.

"Hey watch i-" it was gray.
He looked at me with pain in his eyes.
"Oh my god what happened? " He mumbled to me. I hugged him. He held my face kissed my dry bleeding lips. He stroked my face, looking at every detail. Finally he pulled my sleeve up tp reveal my damage.
"Finn..."tears fell from his eyes.