Markson ~ Thank You

It slipped

Jackson POV
__________________

I got the message from mark. I might just go and... kill myself. I messed up. I don't want to go to school tomorrow but it is the only way I can see mark.

~- Next day at school Jackson POV -~

I went to my classes like nothing is wrong. I just didn't smile, talk to anyone, or look at anyone. People tried to talk to me but I ignored them. I didn't feel like talking.

I got to my first class and didn't see mark at all. It made me kind of sad, but I know he's got to be avoiding me. He is also in my last class so I'll see him then.

The next few classes were hell. I don't know why, but they just were. It's finally lunch. I don't plan on eating but I want to see mark. St least just look at him.

No matter where I looked, I didn't see mark. I left to go to the park down the street. There is a spot I go to when I feel.....

Depressed.

I got there and went to the bench that faces the river. I put my elbows on my knees and head in my hands. I started to sob silently.

Why did you have to go?

Why did he have to do that?

Why didn't I stop him?

I feel so guilty. But that guilt turns into anger once a certain someone shows up.

"Jackson. Don't cry. If he left you, he obviously doesn't see how great you are. You are the best guy I have met. That is probably why-"

"Shut up." I told JB.

"What?"

"Go away. He didn't leave me because of me. It was you that did it. If it wasn't for you, none of this would be happening. The one I love would be in my arms, he would look at me with his sweet, sweet eyes. But no. You ruined that. You knew I love him. My one chance and you ruin it. Don't bother trying to get my friendship back. You lost it forever." I got up and left him in the bench. I don't want to see mark any more.

It would just hurt.

I don't want to hurt.

There is only one way.

I went home. I went to the kitchen first. Don't ask why. Then I went into my bathroom. I locked my door. I don't know why I locked my door. But I just felt like I had to....

I grabbed the knife I got from the kitchen firmly in my hand.

Then I let it slip.

I let it slip from one side of my wrist, to the other side.

I fronted ok pain.

But the pain felt....

Good.

I deserve this.

I'm a horrible person.

The knife slipped a few more times.

Then I stopped, for now. I was washing up my wrists so the blood doesn't stain my log sleeve shirt, when I heard a knock on my door.

"Jackson?" It was BamBam.

"Hold on I'm almost done." I yelled back.

I hurried up and finished washing my wrists, then I threw the knife under my sink.

I made sure I looked presentable, then I opened the door.

Bam bam looked worried. "Are you ok?" He asked. I just nodded. He patted my shoulder and smiled a little. "If you need to talk to any one." His hand went from my shoulder and down to my hand. As his hand went to mine, it brushed up against my fresh cuts. I grunted just a little but bam bam noticed. He got a questioning look on his face. Then he looked at my arm. He brought his hand back up my arm and felt my wound again. That hurt like hell. I grunted louder this time. He turned my arm over and pulled up my sleeve. He looked at me with a shocked look. I just started crying. He hugged me.

"Oh Jackson," I heard him say? "It's going to be ok." I wrapped my arms around him, and cried on his shoulder.

___________________________________ this isn't jackbam!! Bam bam is just trying to be a friend for Jackson.

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