All the Beautiful Things

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This chapter is dedicated to @Despoina, happy belated birthday!

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 Not a single one of the boys was able to see one another until December twenty-seventh, two days after the Christmas holiday. They had all been too busy with familial affairs, and Casper still had one to attend. He was due to fly across the world, to Argentina, so he could see his extended family that lived there.

This was the reason that Calum had dragged himself out of his comfortable, queen-sized bed to spend some quality time with the boy before his plane was due to take off at six in the morning.

At the cursed hour of four in the morning, the two boys sat cross-legged on Casper's bedroom floor, so close that their knees were touching. They told stories of the past, holding a flashlight between them, pointing up at the ceiling as if it were a lamp. They couldn't risk waking Mali or Gray, who both had bedrooms on either side of Casper's. They wanted to wait until five to wake up, so that they weren't tired on the flight.

"Do you remember the one time when we went to the ocean and you tripped over that dead fish and you screamed for forty-five whole seconds?" Casper asked, smirking as his mind took him back to that day. Calum blushed and covered his red cheeks with his sweater paws. "I was fourteen!" He whined, trying to make an excuse for the embarrassment.

Casper chuckled and took in the sight of Calum's shimmering eyes, which, in the darkness of his bedroom, looked as black as his own. "Still, it was rather hilarious. It's one of my favorite memories from when we dated," he admitted, looking down at his lap. 

For a moment, both boys were silent. Their minds were reeling with memories of that time of their lives. It was a major part of who they were. For years, they were together. The moments they spent would never be forgotten, the impact they made on each other would forever linger in their hearts, no matter how much time passed.

When you love a person the way they loved each other, the connection never truly breaks.

"Is there any chance you remember when you took me to America with you when you got to go to the New Year's party in Time Square? I took so many pictures, people assumed I was a professional photographer and tried to make me sign them to my 'agency?' You got all jealous, it was so funny,"  Calum smiled, the memory painting a picture as clear as day in his mind.

In his opinion, these memories were simply something to look back on fondly. He would be lying if he were to say that he never missed the times he spent with the label of Casper's boyfriend, but he did not want it back. The way things were currently sat well with him, nothing more was needed. He was completely over it.

But the love the brunette felt for his best friend would never fade. The colors he saw in the presence of Casper would never fade to gray, only his heart had long stopped racing at the sight of him. He was nothing more than a best friend.

If only Casper could say the same. His opinion was opposite. Calum was still his favorite subject, his favorite thought, and his favorite face to see. This was quite the problem, obviously, as loving someone who doesn't love you back will only lead to devastation to both parties eventually. Casper was aware of this, so he kept his feelings locked behind closed doors, but how long could he contain them? 

"Yeah," he chuckled in reply, his mind carried away elsewhere. He regretted everything.

Suddenly feeling the urge to apologize, Casper shifted in his place, rubbing his sweaty palms together. Of course, he'd said "sorry" multiple times over, but it just never felt like enough. All the words, in every language, could never make up for the mistake he made, not even all that long ago.