Storms Don't Stop For You

My safe places arent safe from this

This is going to be a bad one I can tell
The idea of food makes me feel sick
And my skin feels cold even when I'm wearing 4 layers
My chest feels heavy
And my skin feels light
I don't want to go down but I think that I might
I can feel the tears coming
I feel the need to start running
But I still sit here on this couch
Hoping that maybe I can just wait it out
I hate myself for feeling this
My mind won't let me stop hearing this
It's like a record on repeat but instead of a song it's just a scratch
And I hear that noise all the time
I am tired of being this girl
The girl who goes crazy
The girl that freaks out
I ruin the holidays
I ruin the mood
You can feel it as soon as I'm in the room
I don't want this depression but it's in my head
And in my bed
And in all of the places I thought were safe until it came and broke all the locks
Cracked all the windows
Now I always feel a draft
It tells me I'm nothing
That I hurt everyone here
It's easier if I believe it
I'm not the best at fighting it
So I'll lay in this bed
And listen to all the things that live in my head
- My safe places aren't safe from this
Alexandra Andrews