Switched By Souls✔️

35; The Guy in the Wheelchair

The sky is a sombre grey save for the band of salmon pink that hovers over the mountains. The dusky grey peaks give the bottom a jagged edge, whereas the clouds above soothe it with charcoal swirls. The plane crashed into the sunset, not technically but every time it goes through a cloud I remember Ignatius's hand like a knife twirling in my veins,I shook all the disturbing thoughts away and focused on my flight to the first destination, Dubai.
I wrapped Edward's jacket around me and fell into a deep sleep, but what's the point of sleeping if it wasn't next to him? Waking up to his mesmerizing face, to face plump lips and oceanic eyes, those icy blue eyes that froze my soul, or the warming baby blue eyes that wrapped me in glory when in need for affection, it wasn't just about his eyes, no.

I wiped the grain off my face, i fixed my hair into a bun and was ready to land in Dubai. Dubai mall here i come.
The plane landed and it took me while to find my suitcases, but gladly i did.

As my foot touched the floor, I breathed in relief and doubt, I don't know how can these two sentimental pieces meet to create a feeling, a mixed feeling. I blew out Ignatius's insanity and Edward's fragility. I wanted to cry at the memory of Edward, how he killed himself because of me. If he were here he'd pat my back and tell me it's not my fault, it's his brother's but the fact that I've entered his life makes me a part of this misery.

I realized that I'm alone in the streets in front of the airport, I remembered i have no home to go to as well, I didn't even book a hotel room which makes me want to slap my self repeatedly.

I looked around me, the streets are empty and it's getting darker and darker.

Cross my heart, i miss Edward from a place very very far. I felt foot steps approaching me, I preferred to hide my face with my hands.

Suddenly, i felt a tap on my shoulder and i jolted up,

"Edward?" But all i got was a sympathetic look with a shake of head.

I sighed and wiped my tears, i wanted to hide into my suitcase, probably live there, i was too weak to face anyone or meet anyone, because wherever I go, he pops up in front of me opening his arms or looking at me blaming me for his death, he pops up either with a smile on his face or a smirk or even with a verge of tears. He pops up in front of me, weak, strong, angry, calm, sad and happy.

I look at him and i see myself, i see everything but my true self.

"Salam, Can i help you?" she spoke as she cleared her throat, I didn't dare to look at her, she'd think I'm a monster.

She would ask where I'm from and what i do living, she'd ask me why am i in such a vulnerable state, and why i came here to Dubai, she'd want to know my story but what the hell and from where i should start answering her, when I'm voiceless and my story is not credible.

"I'm Palestinian, and I'm a producer, i was married to an author, who took his life, and i danced with a devil after his death, he was pampering me at a time and torturing me at another time, i am searching for something that I cannot reach, but I'm trying my hardest because I'm spelled. I came here to break a piece of this fatal spell. By the way, my name is Mary Jane, Mary Jane Khair."

She didn't know what to say or how to react, if i were in her place I would've reacted like that as well.

"I'm Rima," that's all she said.

I was too weak to even shake her hands, too weak that i fell into her arms, crying.

"I'm so sorry," this tape never stops, it will be on replay every where i go, i'd meet a person and he/she would tell that she/he is sorry and that I don't deserve all that and everything will be fine, but the thing is, when will the lying stop? When will all these lies disappear?