MODEL (YOONJIN AU)

Depression

So last time I published was December 24 2016, and then it seemed as though I disappeared off the face of the earth. Well I didn't really disappear. 2017 was a hard year for me, first I was diagnosed with Situational Depression. If you want to know more about it message me. There is a back ground story I want to tell you guys.

If you don't want to read it it's okay but if you want to know why I disappeared well then read on.

So my family hasn't been the best of the best. My dad was an abusive person to my mom and sometimes to me, he used to get drunk and use drugs and basically he was a drug addict. He used to physically abuse my mom and verbally abuse me. Well throughout the years all his mean and harsh words got to me and I broke down. I thought I was a strong person but I lied to myself. 2017 brought up a few memories that basically caused my collapse. I got depressed I shut everyone out and I lost motivation for everything. I felt like a piece of shit. I started to cut myself to get rid of the emotional pain. I denied and denied that there was something wrong with me. I attempted to kill my self twice. But I just ended up in the hospital. Finally someone people got me help, but I just kept denying to myself that there was nothing wrong with me, and obviously there was. At school no one knew because I hid my emotions so well that well no one knew that I was hurting inside. I cried myself to sleep many nights thinking that no one cared or loved me.  But now I am getting help and I have gotten better thanks to my therapist and a few of my close friends and family. I just want to thank you guys for not giving up on my stories, because it makes me feel like you guys still believe in me. Thank you for that. And I also want to apologize for being an awful author. I also want to send out my prayers to jonghyun's family. See it's not depression that kills you it's the sadness. So please if you guys are out there and in need of help don't be ashamed to ask for it, it helps trust me. And I'm so sorry that I failed you guys but I promise I will start writing again. And thank you so much for understanding. I love you all so much♥️♥️

If you need some one to talk to I'm available on twitter
@bangtanboys😍😍
And on Instagram
@addicted_to_kpop
Thanks you so much.

I will post this on all my stories.