Brother

Four

Ellie's POV

I have finally finished the letter I'm going to send to Louis. It took me all night. It's currently 2:30am according to the clock at the foot of my bed. Wow I didn't realize it was so late. I just got into a rhythm of writing and I couldn't stop.

As I lay there I re-read it for the hundredth time making sure everything is perfect. I'll print it out in the morning and head to the post office to mail it, but for now I must get some sleep. This whole thing has been so crazy to process, I can't image now that the back and forth communication is about to start what everything is going to turn into.

I'm so very glad he reached out to me. I can't image what my parents are gonna do when they find out tho. I wonder if he told them he'd be telling me...I really need to stop pondering on all the questions and get some rest.

Reaching for my laptop, I close the screen shut, and set is down on my pink carpeted floor. I turn to my right side, clutch Ducky close to my chest, and close my eyes trying to focus on the dark. Let sleep consume me. But as I lay there my mind wonders to my brother. What he looks like. Do I look like him? Is he tall? What kind of cloths does he wear? What's his favorite movie?

The questions flood my mind. The rushing current of words force open my eyes while I try to collect myself and focus on sleep once more.

I close my eyes once more, and same as before, my mind becomes fuzzy inspecting every word Louis wrote to me.

How weird it is to use his name as if it's someone I've know forever now. Which subconscious I believe I have. I mean how does a girl truly forget her own brother. Even if I was just three, I think somewhere I have memories of him. Maybe if I could just sleep on it, they'd come to me.

• • •

Somewhere along my battle between thoughts and sleep, I finally got some rest. When I rolled over to view my clock it read 9:13am in light blue numbers. I laid there awhile just starting at my white ceiling, wondering what it is he's doing right now. I shake the thought and roll out of bed. I have an agenda, and I must get it done!

My socked feet patter against the hard wood floors to my bathroom where I follow out my normal morning routine, but this morning, unlike the others, is not accompanied by my loud blaring music, rather my overwhelmed mind racing a million miles a second.

I walk back to my room, and pull out my favorite dark skinny jeans, and a millennial pink, three quarter length sleeve sweater. I change my cloths, put on some fresh socks, and pull on my Sorel duck boots. It's late November outside, so there's a light chill in the air.

I run outside to let the ducks out. I tell them I'll be home soon. The cold air feels the same. The sun in the sky doesn't have a different light. The whole world has moved on, yet the life I know ceases to exist.

I go back inside, and turn my computer on. It automatically opens to the letter I finished late last night...or rather, early this morning. I read over it one last time, date the corner, and plug it into my printer. The printer comes alive, making a loud jolting noise as the ink cartridge moves around, burning the dark letters onto the pristine white paper. Paper after paper comes out of the printer, then finally the top paper lays on top, and the printer cools down.

I unplug the computer, and turn the printer off. I collect my papers and look through them. Eight pages, front to back. The last page stops a little more than half way down. I take a black, felt tip pen off the table, and write a single line.

Thank you Louis Tomlinson X

I take the whole stack of papers, and carefully fold them to makes sure they're perfect. I close my computer and walk into the living room to find an envelope. I place my stamps, and return address stickers on it. Then make it out to LOUIS TOMLINSON and put his address in all capital letters. I slide the stack of papers into the envelope and as I go to close it, a thought pops into my head. I set the envelope down and run into my room. I grab my pink, Polaroid camera, and go back to the living room. I take the camera, face it towards myself, and snap a picture. Moments later a picture pops out the top. I shake it to develop the image, and wait for it to appear. Once it does I take a look at it. Cute. I take a black sharpie off the coffee table and write on the white boarder. In small letters...

"so you can see what I look like x"

I shake the photo once more to dry the ink and I stick it into the envelope. I then lick the strip and close it. The next time it will be opened is by Louis. What a thought.

Before I have time to sink into another spiral of questions, I jump up from the couch, grab my purse and my keys, and head out the door. I lock the door, stopping to check, then walk to my car.

My light blue Mini Cooper, Bradly, yes I named my car, waits for me in the drive way. I hit the button in the center on my key to unlock it. I open the door, and slide into the drives seat. I place my bag and the envelope on the passenger seat, and start the engine. I stare at the blank white wall of my house in front of me for a moment, then pull my car out of the drive way.

A moment later I'm on the road, headed to the post office. I know I could have just left the envelope in my mail box, and slide the little red flag up for the mailman to take, but I'm anxious. I have to see the letter leave. I have to assure it gets to where it needs to. I pull Bradley over onto the curb outside the post office. I grab my bag, and the envelope and walk up the side walk to the door. I pull the door and walk inside.

The warm air hits me, and I realize how cold it is outside. I head up the stairs to the clerk desk. There's a line of people with tired eyes and baggy sweatpants in front of me. I'm surprised when the line moves quickly, and next thing I know the lady behind the counter is calling for me.

"Next. Miss that's you." She says, the sound of annoyance clear in her voice.

I step forward, and place the envelope on the counter in front of me. "Hi. I'd like to mail this with the fastest delivery time possible please."

The women looks at me and reaches for the envelope. I slide it over to her, saying a goodbye to it in my head. She types something into the computer, and glances up to me. "For next day delivery it will be $5.13."

"Okay, thank you!" I shake my head yes and hand her six dollars. She hands me back my change, stamps my letter with black inc, and throws the letter into some crate behind her.

"Have a nice day. Next!" She calls. I guess that's my queue to leave.

My feet start to move, and next thing I know I'm at my car. Thoughts bounce around in my mind of Louis and my letter. How long till he gets it? I wonder if he's thought of me reading his letter? Does he expect a letter from me? Or a phone call..? I have to shut my mind off to drive. I turn my music all the way up and drive home.

When I get home I turn on Netflix, and try my hardest to just zone out and watch Gilmore Girls. My mind continues to wonder back to everything though.

I pull my phone out, and open messages. I tap the top right corner to compose a new text, and I type Louis' name. I then tap the message bar, and begin to type a hello message. My finger hovers over the send arrow for a long time. But I can't hit it. I hit the cancel button at the top, exit out of messages and click my phone off.

I hope Louis will read my letter. Maybe he can break the ice of texting just as he did with the letter. I guess I'll just wait and see.