Letters Unsent

Thirty-eight(L)

Dear, Bamboo forest

3 hours and 36 minutes till I reach home. 3 hours and 36 minutes to replay each word, meaningful or meaningless glances. 3 hours and 36 minutes to look through the photos I took of you in my mind, all the ones you don't know about. I get to sit here in this empty car with songs that don't yet hold meaning and force myself to not give them any because for 3 hours and 36 minutes I get to feel your lips on mine. I get to revisit that rock and standing a little to close but not fearing the edge. I see you. I can't stop seeing you. I can't stop thinking about you close enough to hear my heart beat and the fear that comes with that. I can't stop picturing you laying next to me in the most innocent way possible.

I need you to know something. I want only one thing from you. I want you to be someone I've never had. The one that I can't let go of so I must never have you as more then what you are meant to be. You are meant to be my "friend" no my "best friend."

2 hours and 13 minutes left and I'm still lost in the thought of you. I reached the border and once I was over it all I could feel was the need to turn around. 1 hour 23 minutes and I could still turn around. 53 minutes I'm thinking about all the things I won't say but it's okay cause I'll say the three most important words. 3 minutes you are 3 hours and 33 minutes away. I'm sad and happy to be home even though I'd rather move and call home anywhere close to you. I'm walking in now and my bed looks cold. Yours was so warm, much like you. I miss you already. I pinky promise you I haven't caught feelings so don't read this wrong. Don't take it for more then it is just know that you make my day less shitty. My moods a little better. My mind a little stronger. So thank you for 3 hours and 36 minutes times two and a day next to you.

Sincerely, the rock by the pond