Yuragwyn: Yours

---Chapter 13

∞Kaitra∞

We break down camp as a ray of sunlight makes its first cut through the darkness. Despite the blanket, mat, and cloak, I am cold and stiff as I rise to stamp out the last embers of last night's fire. We pack quickly and head on our way before the sun clears the horizon. Traugott says nothing to me, and I say nothing back.

By high noon we reach the River Rapha, the northern edge of this forest. It is not quite as fast as the Yaywah and a bit shallower. Here there is no pole system but only a small hollow of planks hardly worthy to be called a skiff tied to a tree near the bank by a half rotten rope. I shiver. With a tub like that we might as well swim.

Traugott cuts the rope with his sword and gingerly steps inside the craft. When it manages not to fall to the river bed, he looks back up to us. "Put your packs in here."

We each set our only possessions in the little boat and watch him row to the other shore, a good forty or fifty yards away. I fidget with my bow string as he makes his trip, alert to any possible suspicious activity. Traugott's words last night have made me tense, ready at any moment to be ruthlessly attacked by goodness knows what. If he goes down, there is no hope for the rest of us.

Traugott beaches again on our shore, and Briallen hops in with him. Calanthe and I can't help but giggle a bit at Briallen's prim behavior. She sits as though a board has been strapped to her back, staring hard past Traugott's shoulder into the distance, wordless. Traugott hunches over a bit to avoid her reprimanding glare and eyes the forest we came through for anything to watch as they travel.

Calanthe rides with him next, and finally he pulls up on shore for me. I lower myself in beside him, but as I take one foot off the bench to put on the hull, the other slips with it and I fall hard onto the rough wood. Traugott grabs my hand to steady me, and for a moment our eyes lock as well as our fingers.

A blush creeps up both of our faces, and we break both bonds. I wrap my arms tight around my stomach as he rows silently into the gently flowing waters. Everything is quiet. I steal a glance at him as he rows, his arms tense, his jaw set, his hair tied tightly against the nape of his neck. He does remind me of somebody, but who?

A whistling noise catches my attention, and the sucking sound of water grabs my eye. An arrow floats along beside us. I whirl around and see a dark face peering at me through the trees.

And then I am underwater with Traugott's strong arms clamped around me. My lungs ache for air, and the pressure from the water piling above us threatens to collapse my rib cage permanently. I struggle against him to escape to the surface to breathe. He only holds me closer. If I had any strength to resist I would claw against him, just like the first time he gripped me like this. Now, though, I press a bit closer into him, knowing if I put up a fight down here we will both die.

I feel the sandy river bottom beneath my feet, and we both push off it towards the grassy shore. Instead of increasing light, I only feel my world becoming darker. Wisps of fog in my mind, even as we break through the water's surface.

"Breathe Kaitra!" He cries, throwing me onto shore.

I try to expand my lungs, but they are frozen in place, and blackness begins to fill in the foggy swirl before me.

Before it closes in, though, I strong hand pounds on my chest, and I cough up a healthy sample of the waters of the Rapha.

"Breathe Kaitra!" Traugott commands, leaning over me.

And with a whale-like noise, air flows through my mouth and nostrils.

₰Traugott₰

Everything in me goes limp with that loud, long first breath. Adrenaline, then pumping through me, now evaporates into the frigid air. Calanthe has her bow trained on the trees on the opposite bank, watching and waiting for any further advances.

"Cold," Kaitra gasps. "The water was cold."

I grab her hand, "And so are you. Go with Calanthe and Briallen and get changed."

She goes quietly, and I watch them retreat behind some scraggly brush, thankful that I elected to take the packs over first. It is only the second day of our journey, and already I have come close to failing. Never has one breath been so important to me and to all of Yuragwyn. How could I have faced my superiors, my lord, my master, if something had happened to Kaitra?

As I wait for Kaitra to change, my mind wanders back to some of my earliest memories, those still including people I believe were my parents. I remember them telling me about a long awaited daughter who would save our country, one who would lead fearlessly and fight ferociously. I remember their bright eyes, hopeful that this day would come in their lifetimes.

I remember the day I came back from Enion's house and they were gone. Everything was still neatly in its place, just as I had left it that morning, but they had vanished. I remember curling up on their bed and crying myself to sleep.

And, now, she has come, and she hates us all.

A dull, cheerless laugh escapes my lips as I think on this. Our hero, our champion, our Daughter's primer desire is to rush back from where she came and hide. How can one so inclined be our saving grace?

A throat clears behind me, and I stand to face her. She holds her head high, and her wet, sienna locks fall down around her. I nod to her, but she only stares back. "You may change now."

Calanthe gives me an apologetic smile as I pass, pack in hand. It appears that the river chill has frozen what I had hoped would thaw.

∞Kaitra∞

After a small piece of meat and a hard biscuit, we are on our way again. While I was changing, the glint of the hilt of the dagger in my pouch caught my eye. I finger the leather now, curious. The pouch is soft against the cool hardness underneath. I move it to the side slowly. The green studded and gold handle catches my eye.

It is the dagger! Memories of home spring open like popcorn kernels. I think back to my tree on my mountain, and the longing to be leaning up against it rises exponentially. I simply have to draw it, and I can be home.

I undo the tie and pull back the flap. It glistens in the sunlight, and I take a deep breath.

"No!" Traugott says, springing back towards me. He holds the dagger down in its pouch. "Please."

The fervency of his expression surprises me. His eyes plead with me to let my freedom be. He begs for me to remain here in this foreign place on this long walk to emanate doom. What could I possibly do to fulfill these people's dreams of me? Most of me longs to smirk and move his hand away and be home. I have every right to, in fact. He cannot hold me against my will.

But then Calanthe takes my hand pleadingly. "Kaitra, we need you. Yuragwyn needs you. If for nothing else, stay for the million and a half people here depending on you."

Briallen is the only one who says nothing. I can see the challenge in her eyes. She dares me to go, she wishes I would.

I wish I would. I miss my parents terribly. I want to curl up in their laps and cry and hear them tell me it was all a horrible dream and that they are my real parents and that Yuragwyn means nothing to me. I want to give up. I don't want anyone depending on me.

But one and a half million people do, they say, and there's nothing I can do to transfer their trust to someone who can better care for them. For whatever reason, they've placed that trust on my small shoulders, in my clumsy hands. What is it they're trusting me to do? I'm too tired to ask. They all figure I know anyway.

I tie the strap back together, and we walk on, my feet aching and sore. The plains stretch out far around me, and all is quiet, deathly quiet.

Such,I guess, is the calm before the storm. m:443"��uk��k