A Shade Lighter {Sequel To A Shade Darker}

{Chapter Forty Four}

The God Damn Shovel

November 15th, 2018

Billie

When Lenore got home from work finally her apron was covered in spots of blood, and she had a displeased look on her face.

She tossed her jacket on the bed I had just finished making for her and let out a long sigh.

"It's already getting cold outside, Billie. I'm going to start having to wear a bigger coat if I want to make it"

I let out a chuckle at her exaggeration and when she began to sit down on the bed I gestured her towards the chair instead.

"I just made it..." I complained softly, my head spinning.

Her eyebrows went together.

"What?"

"I just made the bed, I don't want to mess it up already. Please, Lenore, don't. It's just the hormones or whatever..."

When I saw the look of anger on her face I tried to reason with her.

Everyday I would go through it. The coming home from her job and then the explosion. I knew everything was stressful for her, but I was trying my best and she didn't understand that.

"Do you understand just exactly what it is that I do all day, Billie? Huh, do you? I stand on my feet, which are swollen by the way, and help women give birth to their children. If I want to come home and sit on my own God Damn bed, then I will!"

I rolled my eyes and walked towards her. She backed up quickly.

"Don't even think about it. Who knows, you might just take me down and rape me-"

"Look, I already apologized-"

"Who knows, maybe that's how I got pregnant in the first place, huh? Maybe I didn't enjoy what you did to me, maybe I've never enjoyed it, have you ever thought about that? No! Because you only think of yourself!"

I walked towards her and grabbed her arms.

"Calm down, Lenore. Really, don't do this. Go ahead and sit on the bed if you want to-"

"Oh, so now I can sit on the bed? What's changed, Billie? Are you scared of me, are you scared of who I might tell of what you did?"

"Lenore-"

"Don't touch me!"

She slapped at my hands and punched at my chest when I tried to pull her close to me.

"Lenore, stop this!"

My voice raised and when I tightened my arms around her she kicked at my shins.

Reluctantly I let go and turned to walk towards the door.

I was muttering on my breath and could hear her crying softly when I grabbed the handle of the door.

"Come talk to me when you're done being a bitch"

I heard a small scraping noise against the floor, then felt something hard against my head. I heard the sound of metal, then ringing in my ears before I fell. The last thing I heard was her gasp.

****

I groaned and felt warm as I turned over. I could hear Lenore's voice and felt like I was in a dream.

"Billie?"

I put a hand to my forehead and felt like the world was spinning around me.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and found myself being cradled in Lenore's lap on our bedroom floor.

She had been crying, her hands were on the side of my face.

"I'm so sorry, Billie. You made me so angry, I thought it would make me feel better. Are you okay? Does it hurt very much?"

Slowly I watched her fingers touch a place on the back of my head. I winced and hissed through my teeth.

"Ugh, what did you do to me?"

She hugged me up against her and cradled my head at her breast. I closed my eyes, my head thumping. I began noticing the light ringing in my ears. She gently rocked back and forth as if trying to soothe a baby to sleep.

"I hit you..."

I opened my eyes and looked at her hands. Nothing that small could do so much damage.

Then I remembered the sound of metal and looked around the room. By the door was a shovel, one that had multiple debts in it.

My mouth fell open as I sat up.

"You seriously hit me with Ashley's shovel?"

She wiped under her eyes and shrugged. She sniffed.

"What else was I supposed to do? You called me a...a...bitch" Her lower lip trembled and she began crying softly again.

"Yes, I did because you deserved it. I tried to reason with you and you-"

"Shhhh...." She cradled me back to her and held me to keep me quiet.

Honestly, it was probably for the best, because I could imagine myself yelling at her for what she did. And I did not want to be hit with that shovel lying in the doorway.

"I can't help it, Billie. I really can't...." She said softly as she rested her head on top of mine. "It's like one minute I'm happy and fine and the next I'm spouting off like a broken water hose"

I sighed and forced myself not to be angry about my head still pounding.

"Talk to Ashley, she always knows what to say"

She heard the small annoyance in my voice and put her hand on my cheek as she looked down at me.

"I know it must be hard for you to understand, Billie. I mean that, I really do, because I don't expect you to know what I'm going through. I shouldn't have hit you, and I'm sorry. I know you were just trying to talk some sense into me"

I gave her a weak smile and grabbed her hand. I kissed the back of it.

"Do you think that the next time you'd like to hit me, even if I don't deserve it, that you could maybe use your hand? It would hurt a lot less"

She nodded her head.

"How bad does your head hurt?"

I touched it lightly and grimaced.

"Mm, it's sore. Bad enough to make you feel guilty for it, I suppose"

She sighed and I knew she did feel bad, and sorry.

She looked over at the bed.

"Were you really so concerned about the bed being so neat?"

I shrugged, shook my head.

"I guess not, doesn't matter. It'll get messed up again anyways when we sleep"

She started at it and the nice neat blankets for a minute before sighing and standing.

She outstretched her small hand to me.

"Come, I'll make it up to you"

Smiling, and forgetting about the pain in my head, I took her hand.