wut up

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super chill and mentally ill



how do you relax i would like to try it

i may seem like an asshole 
but deep down i'm a good person 
and deeper down i'm a bigger asshole


when your "useless knowledge" comes up in a conversation 
and you sound like the smartest person in the room
but you really just spend too much time on Wikipedia 

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i am made of water and anxiety


*removes one ear bud* the fuck you want?

today i'm feeling cloudy with a chance of sarcastic


stress out? no. wrong. stress in. internalize that shit and tell no one

the first step to any murder is to have fun and to be yourself 

how to get a girlfriend according to musicals 

• Dear Evan Hansen: lie about being friends with her dead brother

• Be More Chill: swallow a supercomputer that controls your thoughts and behaviour

• Phantom of the Opera: teach her to sing and stalk her incessantly

• Avenue Q: accuse her of being racist, make her a mixtape and get her drunk on Long Island Iced Tea

• Heathers: criticise her for choosing popularity over friendship and beat the shit out of some random jocks

• Book of Mormon: baptise her


*starfire voice* MY ANACONDA DOES NOT WISH TO PARTAKE 


If i go to jail i'll introduce myself as mitochondria to establish that i am the power house of the cell


if a demon possessed me i'd just be like " okay take it from here good luck man"


my shampoo smells like meme spirt


steal everything your little gay hands can carry

dads are either too nice or asshole there is no in between


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