You said that i was the one that stopped comforting you when you were angry. But where were you when i was too depressed to leave the bed? Where were you when anxiety would take hold of me and made me an antisocial paranoid freak? Where was my comfort when i needed it most? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU? Either you couldn't be bothered or didnt realise how selfish and ignorant you were being. How was i suppose to comfort you and take care of you if you couldnt do the same for me? You dont think it was emotionally draining?? How everytime you yelled or punched something i would shrink? Not because i was scared of you or scared that you would hurt me. I had complete faith in you that you would never do that. It was because i didnt know how to help you. I was lost and powerless but i was STILL THERE. RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE. NO MATTER WHAT. no matter if i had friends over, no matter if there was something i was suppose to do because you were more important than allllll of those things. But why wasnt i important enough for you? Why couldn't you just sit with me. Lay with me. Anything other than walking away and leaving me with my destructive thoughts. I NEEDED you. And every time you walked out the door i hurt. I hurt so much. It hurt even more when i couldnt muster up the strength to tell you. I thought that you would have known to just stay with me. Stay with me until i could see through the dark clouds again. Why was it ok for you to walk away from me, when i desperately needed someone to hold onto, to anchor me but it was not ok for me to walk away from you. But i guess its my fault. Its always my fault.
