February, 1817
Shrewsbury, EnglandCharlene Arwin was never interested in learning the proper decorum of a lady, much to her mother disappointment. If measured by her abilities in music, singing, dancing, drawing, and all the skills that society has established as accomplishments a girl must possess to be qualified as a good wife, Charlene would be unmarriageable. She was what most people would labeled a "blue-stocking," a woman who had devoted too enthusiastically to intellectual pursuits, an unfeminine person seeking to usurp men's natural intellectual superiority.
But Charlene never cared about what society thinks of her. All that matter was what father and Charles, her second older brother, think of her. Mother's opinion was of no import, or so she kept telling herself. Deep down, Charlene wished that mother would approved of her, loved her for who she was. Charlene did not want to upset mother. She did tried to be the daughter that mother wanted, but she was not cut from the same cloth as all the other females.
Her oldest brother, she never understood him. Well, that might be because he was never home. Ten years older than her, Erasmus was at school most of the year. They only saw each other one time a year, sometimes two but never more than three. He always came home for Christ's Mass but went away with his friends during other holidays. Father said Erasmus was studying medicine. He aspired to be a doctor like father.
Father was a good doctor, the best that Charlene knew. But Charlene was never treated by any other doctors. Why would she when she had her own doctor? Her father! Charlene might be biased but it didn't matter. Father would always be the best doctor in Charlene's eyes.
Mother was a lady. The youngest daughter of an earl. Father said mother was the most beautiful lady he'd laid his eyes on. It was love at first sight for him. But he knew he was too low for her. He was just an assistant of their family doctor when they first met. He never dreamt that mother would returned his feelings. If mother's not approached him with her feelings, he didn't know where he'll be today. Grandfather was very mad when mother and father finally decided to elope. He disowned her! Charlene could not imagine father disowning her. She would cried and she was not a girl who cried easily!
Charlene knew that mother became resentful and bitter throughout her 20 years of marriage to father. She remembered her mother smiling and playing with her in the nursery with father. It was the only happy memory she had of mother. Now, mother wore her scowls and yelled everytime she was dissatisfied with Charlene. Sometimes, Charlene thinks mother became like that because of her. Mother used to be happy before Charlene was born, if the pictures in their small cottage could be believed.
Charlene was not troubled when mother yelled at her for playing with Charles and the gardener's boys instead of staying in the nursery with her female cousins. Hanging out with Charles was more fun. It was like an adventure each time. They would fished, collected minerals and insects, and conducted chemical experiments in the garden shed. They rode horses, and not the riding side-saddle that girls were forced to do but riding astride, freely. Charles and the boys even taught Charlene how to shoot once. Even though he was four years older than her, Charles never impeded her from following him. But the most delightful part of all was that Charles always included her in everything! He never left her out of any game.
Playing with her female cousins was the most boring activity. It would not even be called an activity in Charlene's mind. All they did was stared at each other or the wall. Well, all Charlene did when she was with them was staring at the wall. Her cousins played with their dolls. Charlene was too old for dolls. She was almost eight years old! Dolls were for babies!
Charlene was excited for her birthday this year. Last year, father bought her a magnifying glass. The better to see her experiments, father said. Mother was vexed! She said father should buy Charlene a dress instead, or anything else beside a magnifying glass. He shouldn't be indulging Charlene's wild ways. That night, when father came into Charlene's room to kiss her good night, he told Charlene to listen to mother more often. He said Charlene should try to make mother proud of her and if she was successful, he would buy her a microscope for her 10th birthday! It's their secret promise. She would always be his little scholar no matter what.
Charlene knew that father won't buy her a microscope this year. It was only her eight birthday anyway. But she was still excited either way. She had not seen father in more than two days. He was due back today from London. He went to London for some adult business that Charlene was not supposed to know about. But Charlene knew father went there to borrow more money so he could open his own clinic. She heard mother and father talking about it last night. And that was all he talked about for the past few months.
"Mrs. Arwin!" Someone yelled from their front gate. Charlene was sitting by the window in the living room so she was able to see that it was Mr. Aiken calling her mother. He had two strangers with him.
Mother raised from the armchair by the fireplace and made her way to the front door. Mrs. Hadwin, their live-in housekeeper and cook, opened the door before mother reached it. Charlene rushed forward so she could see what's making Mr. Aiken so anxious. She was also curious about this visit. Already, Charlene knew it was something unpleasant. Mr. Aiken, being the town's governor and father's creditor, never brings good news when he visited.
"Good evening to you, gentlemen. Is there something amiss?" Mother inquired politely.
"Does this belongs to your husband?" One of the strange man handed a bag of something to mother. Charlene stealed closer so she could see the contents of the bag. Mother pulled out what looked like a watch and a wedding ring. Charlene could made out some dark stains on the watch.
"Yes, I..I believe so," mother whispered.
"We regret to inform you that your husband, Mr. Arwin, the owner of this watch and ring, is deceased. He died in a carriage accident just this morning on his way from London." The same stranger said. Mother let out a barely noticeable whimper and sagged toward Mrs. Hadwin. She caught mother and they both started wailing quietly together. Charlene couldn't discerned which sound came from which person. She couldn't hear or understand anything else that the man said, except that father was dead. Gone. Not coming back. Dead. She was not too young to understand what that means. But still, Charlene could not believe it. She would not!
The strangers and Mr. Aiken continued speaking for a couple minutes, with mother nodding once in awhile, before taking their leave. But that was not the end of Mr. Aiken's unpleasant visits.
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