Fragmented Confessions | Boyxboy

Chapter Four

I was frozen. Almost like a deer in headlights. I searched his expression desperately to see if he was joking, but he wasn't. He was perfectly serious.

“Wh- what do you mean?” I tried not to shift, but I was feeling anxious. Of all people Adam was definitely last on the list of people I wanted knowing. “N- no.”

He sighed and gripped the steering wheel. “It's fine if you do. I sort of noticed a while ago.”

“I… I don't like Scott. That's stupid.” I could feel my eyes welling up in tears. “I'm not… I'm not gay.”

“Simone can be a bit mean sometimes, but I don't think Scott will pick her. I don't really think he likes her, to be honest.” He started up the engine and we pulled out of the parking lot.

“But I'm not gay.”

“Okay.”

He said that like he didn't believe me. “No. I'm not gay. I don't like Scott.”

“I believe you.”

No you don't. It was written all over his face. I put my head down, burying my face into my backpack. He didn't say another word until we got to my house. I wanted to say something to him, but I wasn't sure what. If he really did know, I just hoped he wouldn't tell Scott. Or anyone else.

My hand hovered over the door handle.

“Damien…” I jumped as he broke the silence. “Sorry. I'm not going to tell anyone you like a guy.”

“I don't like a guy.”

“If it makes it any easier… I… like a guy too.”

My hand fell from the handle back to my side. “Huh?”

“Yeah… I like a guy too.”

“You're… gay?” I was in near disbelief. He was so masculine, though. Someone I imagined as being completely straight.

He nodded. “I’m surprised you haven't noticed.” He mumbled something else after that, but much too quietly for me to hear. “You like Scott… right?”

My gaze was fixed on my hands which I tightly gripped. Maybe telling him the truth wouldn't be so bad, I thought. After all, if he isn't lying to me, that means we have more in common than I thought. Sure, Mason was someone I could confide in, but he was a boy that liked girls. And being trans wasn't the same as being gay. It was a completely different ball park.

Clenching onto my fingers, my nails digging into my skin, I let out an uneasy breath. “I…” Hesitating was the last thing I wanted to so. It only complicated this further. “I'minlovewithScott!”

Each syllable I spoke was so close to the other the five words I spoke had become one. I tightly shut my eyes. Whatever I was expecting, I was more surprised when he didn't react.

He leaned back in his chair. “So I was right.”

My eyes opened. I'd closed them so tight a few tears fell to my cheeks. “Y- yeah…”

“I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.” He said, but he was shifting more than me. “I was just curious.”

I'll admit, I wasn't expecting him to tell me he was gay. Even more so, I told him. My heart was beating against my chest at an alarming rate. “S-so…” This is fine, isn't it? If he's like me then we can talk about all the things I could only talk to Mason about. This was an opportunity. A chance to have a gay friend, despite the fact we were already friends of a few years. “Who do you like?”