Teehee Time

Proving the Illuminati Is Real!

Reporter: And I believe this directly relate to the Plastic Water Bottle conspiracy of '73. The questions still remains. Is the illuminati real? I'd layout the facts to you America. It's time to spread the truth. Wake up America. Don't be a sheep.
Ryan: This guys are absolutely ridiculous.
Sean: So dumb!
Justin: I can't believe people believed in this stuff like seriously!? They, they'll find any reasons to say it's illuminati.
Ryan: Oh! Miley Cyrus has an eyeball tattoo. Illuminati confirmed!
Justin: Doritos are triangle shape. Illuminati confirmed!
Sean: The three of us are still awake but Erika's s-still, still s-sleeping. Illuminati con-confirmed.
Ryan: You don't really get what were doing, right Sean?
Sean: No.
Ryan: It's ok. Don't worry.
Justin: Wait, who's Erika?
Ryan: Oh! It's just our other roommate. Don't even, don't worry about her. She's sleeping.
Justin: Oh! Well, dude, don't worry about it Sean. It's okay. I mean illuminati is a biggest waste of time just because a bunch of celebrities like Jay Z, Lady Gaga, Beyonce all put up the same like hand symbol. (Ryan: Wait.) The triangle sign.
Ryan: What did you just say?
Justin: What?
Ryan: Jay Z, Lady Gaga, Beyonce?
Justin: Yeah. What about them?
(Jay Z, Lady Gaga, Beyonce echo)
Ryan: Oh My God! Guys, I think I got it. Jay Z, Lady Gaga, Beyonce. What are they all in common?
Justin: Uh, I just told you. They all put up their stupid hand signs.
Ryan: No, not just that.
Sean: They're all celebrities?
Ryan: No.
Justin: They are all in the music industries?
Ryan: No.
Justin: Then just tell us!
Ryan: They all have an "e" in their name.
Justin: No, they don't. Only Beyonce has an e in her name.
Ryan: No not the letter e. The sound eeee. Beeeeyonce, Ladeeee Gaga, Jay Zeeee.
Justin: Seriously?
Ryan: Seriousleeee.
Justin: *sighs*
Ryan: And you know what, they're not the only ones.

(Ryan stand and get the book from the shelf and they heard the sound of machines. They looked around and saw Erika making coffee with the use of Coffee Machine.)

Ryan: Hey, Erika. You think you could make your coffee on another time. We're kinda in the middle of something.
Erika: Fine. I'm going back to sleep then.
Ryan: Thanks.

(Ryan opened the book.)

Ryan: How to access your secret lab, put book back.

(Ryan put the book back and the secret lab revealed.)

Machine: Welcome, Ryan.
Justin: When did you have time to do all this?
Ryan: Hmmm.

(Ryan thinks and his hair goes up.)

Ryan: Oh! There we go. As I was saying, it's not just Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Jay Z. There's more. Think about it, who are some other celebrities that are rumoured to be a part of the illuminati?
Sean: Ah Nicki Minaj?
Ryan: Nickeeee Minaj.
Sean: Miley Cyrus?
Ryan: Mileeee Cyrus.
Sean: Kim Kardashian?
Ryan: Kardasheeeean.
Justin: Well, what about Kanye West? He's rumoured to be a part of it.
Ryan: Oh, you mean Kanyeeee.
Justin: It's Kanye.
Ryan: Then why does he refer to himself as Yeezy. Or why is his album called Yeezus. It's Kanyeeee. Learn how to reeeead.
Justin: Ok, fine. All their names have a "eeee" sound in it. What does it have to do with illuminati?
Ryan: Good question. See, I've been working on the same theory for minutes now. The name illuminati is a clue in itself.
Justin: What?
Ryan: Ah, illuminati. They're saying Illumi-Not-E which is exactly what they want us to think. They're hiding from us. But we just cracked the code and we're gonna prove this thing once and for all.
Justin: We just talked about how stupid this conspiracies are.
Ryan: Conspiracieeees.
Justin: *sighs*
Ryan: The illuminati are viewed as leaders, the most powerful people and companies in the entire world. And from the time we're kids, we're already being taught to serve them? Think about it. When you're a little kid, what's the one thing you're force you to do? Go to school. And when you're in school, who's the one person that you have to obey? The teacher. And when it comes to teacher, what's the one thing you associate teachers with? Apples. Like why an apple of all things? Because Apple is one of the biggest companies in the world and they're in on it. And what do you think every single one of their Apple products starts with an "i".
Sean: Ah like the iPhone. Or the iPod. Or the iPad. Or even the i..
Ryan: Rack!
Sean: Hmmm I didn't know they make racks.
Ryan: No, like the place Iraq. See, there's already a lot of conspiracy theories saying we went to war Iraq for oil or for money or for whatever. But what if the reason was to protect the secret?
Justin: Tsk so you're saying the illuminati is located in Iraq.
Ryan: No, that would be way too obvious but we're close. It's someplace around there. I still don't know where to start.
Sean: Hmmm with all the technology we have, too bad we can't just triangulate their position.
Ryan: Wait, Sean, say that again.
Sean: That again.
Ryan: Exactly! Triangulate.
Justin: Huh?
Ryan: Triangles. That's another illuminati sign. That's how we're gonna find them with triangles.
Sean: But where do we start?
Ryan: Isn't it obvious? The pyramids. Even as a little kid, you're taught that pyramids are in Egypt. Eeeegypt. And what other famous pyramid does everybody learned about as a kid? The Food Pyramid. And if we looked above Egypt, we see Turkey, which is up and to the right exactly where turkey would be on the food pyramid. Up and to the right in the mid section. And while we're talking about meat, don't tell me it's a coincidence that Saudi Arabia is shaped exactly like the meat they used to draw in cartoons that we watched as kids. Even though it is pretty uncooked and red, that could explain exactly why there's the Red Sea right next to it. It's because the Red Sea is just the meat juices dripping down from Saudi Arabia or should I say Salty Rare Beef-Ah.
Justin: Oh, God!
Ryan: And when we connect all three points we have the first triangle, the triangle of pyramids. But the illuminati aren't just represented by pyramids, they're also represented by an eye, and what do eyes do? They see. Just like the Mediterranean Sea[see], or Syria[See-ria], or like we mention earlier the Red Sea. That's our second triangle, the triangle of eyes. And when you put the triangle of pyramids and the triangle of eyes together, what do you get? Two triangle star. And what country lies in the middle of the star? Israel. And guess what is Israel national flag was like? Exactly, the two triangle star. And so, in conclusion, after all my minutes of research ends up finally putting an end to all the ridiculous conspiracy theories and answer the questions that's been asked so many times. Is the illuminati real? I present to you the answer. The Illuminati ... Israel. [Is real]
Reporter: It's time you learned the truth. Wake up America.
Justin: Seriously? This entire video is a troll video.
Ryan: What? No, it's not!
Justin: You made us sit through this entire video for one bad pun.
Ryan: It wasn't just for one bad pun it was also to WAKE UP AMERICA!

(Erika wakes up!)

Justin: Wait, who are you?
Erika: I'm Erika. [America]
Ryan: See, two bad puns.