Hey, guys! I'm about to head to the Philippines, uh in a couple of days. So I'm like really, we're like rushing to make it this video done. I apologise if there's been like a little delay. I'll try and post this out there when I'm in the Philippines but I have no idea when I'm gonna have time to do that based on our schedule out there. I'm in the Philippines, I'm going to the Philippines or I just came back from the Philippines. So, Mabuhay, Mabubye! Okay, what am I doing? Welcome back to another Dear Ryan! That's not how I start these! I need a Dear Ryan theme song, somebody make me a Dear Ryan theme song, I should make my own Dear Ryan theme song. It's Dear Ryan eh-eh That sounded like a Michael Jackson song *burp*
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1. Dear Ryan can you show us your judo techniques?
So for those of you that haven't watched my Draw My Life and for those of you that don't know. Since I was 5 years old, I did Judo my whole life. Growing up when I did Judo, everybody's like, why? Why couldn't you take Karate or like Taekwondo. Judo was never a popular sport. Only up until recently since the rise of like Ronda Rousey. Judo has even been considered like a legit sport, I feel like. Sean and I are actually both black belts in Judo. Crazy right? Doesn't mean we're any good at it but we both have our black belts. We may have coloured our white belts with Sharpies, black belts nonetheless Call Sean Fujiyoshi. *rings*
Sean: Yo.
Ryan: Yo. I'm doing a Dear Ryan right now, can I, umm Can I throw you?
Sean: I guess... What kind of throw?
Ryan: Like, Judo throws? *giggles*
Sean: Ok?
Ryan: Alright! *laughs*Alright, here we go, I guess. *gong sound* The Seoi Nage, the Osoto Gari, the Ouchi Gari, the Uchi Mata, the Tamoe Nage, the Uchi Mata, Ouchi Gari, the Ouchi Gare, Seoi Nage, of course for the really advanced, the Yamahamotor-gatame *motor sound*, the Sony Boombox-ahogatame *music* And last but not least, the Ouchi Gari, Osoto Gari, Igashi-Geshi-Gori-Gari Ronda-Rousey-Gotteeem. See? You got judo techniques like this you ain't got be afraid of anyone. Not even Ronda Rousey. That's why Ronda, I'm calling you out publicly. I'll take you out anytime, anyplace, anywhere you want ...
Ronda: What did you say?
Ryan: Go to dinner. I-I'll take you out to dinner anytime, anyplace anywhere, My treat!
Ronda: That's what I thought.
Ryan: Maybe even go to a bar After, I actually own a bar. I'd love to have you in it, it's called the arm bar... I break your arm.
Ronda: OH YOU'RE DEAD!*gasp* Quick! YamahaMotor-Gatame! *motor sound*
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2. Dear Ryan can you do the human piano?
*piano sound* Get it? It's a human p and o. Human piano.
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3. Dear Ryan how did you get that scar on your arm?
People are always asking me about I feel like I've explained it before but I looked through my videos and I don't think I actually have so I'm gonna do this one. This scar, look how big this scar is right here and a scar right here actually, I was getting attacked by ninjas one day and *sigh* I'm not even gonna bother. This is a true story It's not a story I'm necessarily proud of. When I was 6 years old, I was in the first grade I remember, I was riding my bike with a bunch of my neighbourhood friends. You know at the time there was this stunt, dare-devil guy called Evil Kanival. If you guys don't know who you, who he is, he did a bunch of crazy stunts on his motorcycle and basically I wanted to be him. I thought that was like the coolest thing in the world. There was a few of my neighbourhood friends and we're all riding our bikes. On my street, there's this gigantic ditch, I would say, about a 6 foot, 6 and a half foot drop. And out of nowhere I rode my bike, straight towards the ditch. Tried to lift up the handle bars, tried to do a backflip and land. But it did not quite go that way. So instead I did *chuckles* kind of like a half backflip then halfway through towards the end I was like OH MY GOD I'M GONNA FALL. But instead of bailing, I turned sideways. And basically I landed exactly on this arm, and completely broke my arm. I got it casted, and apparently I don't know, something went wrong with the casting. So by the time I was in high school, I kept having these wrist issues. Like everytime I just bent it a little, it started to hurt When they got it x-rayed they realised that, you know from that first injury, my arm got messed up. What they had to do because this bone was longer. What they had to do was they had to cut All the way through the bone and take out a chunk of bone to make this bone shorter. That's why there's big slices there. And then what they did is they went in and they attached a metal rod to the two bones. So that the bones would heal properly. And then they put another metal rod in here. You know, I had metal in my arm for like, 2 years. There's some metal actually still in there I was actually really self-conscious about this. I used to always like wanna wear long sleeve shirts. There's nothing you can do about it It couldn't, it could be worse. You could have a scar on your freaking nose.
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4. Dear Ryan go to hell and kill yourself.
Wait. You want me to go to hell first and then kill myself? That doesn't make any sense! How do you even do that? Cause if you're in hell you're already dead. Can you even kill yourself in hell? There's no way you can go to hell if you're still alive. That doesn't make any sense, unless *gasp* Oh my God! This is hell! Seriously though.
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5. Dear Ryan make a freestly rap.
Uhm I don't know how to do that *chuckles* My rapping is basically 5th grader poetry. I just look for words that rhyme as fast as I can and then I just, even if doesn't make sense I'll just say it *chuckles* That's how I freestyle but I'm just gonna go for it *ahem*
Yo, I'm sitting right here, doing this Dear Ryan
Call me MGM, 'cause I'm a straight lyin' to you
When I say that I'm making this up
I got all the lyrics written out on the back of this cup
I'm just kidding there's nothing really on there
In fact, I already did this Dear Ryan I don't even know why it's still here
I'll tell you why, because I'm lazy
I'm a bit crazy
When I open my eyes big you got sunflowers
I got daisies!
That made no sense
A penny for your thought
Because I need to buy time now dot dot dot
OK Okay, now I know how this rap's gonna end
I'm just gonna keep rhyming words that end with "n"
Like abbreviation, and condensation On a scale from one to ten
IGN Raised a ten out of ten
And for all of y'all who don't think I'm really rapping
For all of y'all that don't think I'm really freestyling
You're right
I'm not
I've got all the lyrics on the back of this cup *laughs*Oh my God! That was so bad. Okay I was, I was, I was freestyling but the- I-I-I'm not good I'm sorry, I'm sorry guys. To all the real rappers out there That was such an insult, I'm sorry guys.
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6. Dear Ryan can you make dubstep with your dog?
*sigh* You guys have no idea how difficult it is to work with Marley
*dogstep music*
That doesn't even sound like dubstep. Dubstep sounds more like.
*electronic dogstep music*
YOU ARE READING
Teehee Time
HumorMeet Ryan Higa and the RHPC (Ryan Higa Production Company) members: Sean Fujiyoshi, Derrick Dereleek, Greg Saniatan, Will Shahan, Will Pacarro, Daina Bobaina, Monica Miyagi & Mary Erik and join them in exploring different worlds of mystery, fantasy...