Teehee Time

How to get Views on Youtube!

Paco: Man it's been like three days and we only got 5 views
Will: Yeah we worked like two weeks on that one too.
Paco: Plus, there's four of us if we all watched it technically there's only one view.
Sean: Uh, actually I watched it twice so.
Will: What we're gonna do? I gave up my job, so we could take this seriously
Sean: Yeah, we all did
Paco: Hey guys. Check this out real quick.
Ryan: Why hello there! Are you having a hard time getting people to view your videos? Are you in a tight spot right now because you gave up your job to pursue YouTube as a career?
Will: Woah, that's spot on huh?
Ryan: Are you four guys spinning red on a beat up apartment sitting on a long brown couch surrounded by garbage and a red finger vase that's held together by blue painters tape?
Will: The hell?
Ryan: Or one of the four of you has a secret embarrassing addiction to eating his own boogers?
Derrick: I bet it is Sean
Ryan: Well if that's the case, you've come to the right place. Welcome to "How to Get Views on Youtube"

🎵So...
You made a silly clip
Or a funny skit
Something new
Uploaded it
But you barely got a single view
Still passionate
And you wanna stay true to you
Failing again
And you just don't have a clue
Youtubers tips said
Do what you wanna do
Well that's nice and all
But we all know that is not the truth
It ain't 2010
There's a whole set of new rules
Here's the real ways to get
Views on Youtube
Ohhhhh
How to get views on Youtube
Ohhhhh
How to get views on Youtube
Ohhhhh
There's so much you can do
If you wanna get views on Youtube🎵

🎵Take the latest trend
Shove it in the title
Make a fake challenge
Or just buy an iFhone
You can take a couple strangers
Make 'em kiss in a white room
Get something people like
And fill up a tub
Do an experiment in public
Showing love is love
Maybe even compare
$1 vs $1,000 food🎵

🎵Yup
Forget that original sketch
Unless that sketch
Is about politics
And pushes an idea
That's already been said
So the lowest common denominator
All nod their heads
Yeah~
Don't forget to ask for
Comments, shares and likes
Be sure to mention
They could win a mouse if they subscribe
And if you're still not getting views
Just offend the entire nation
Change your hair
You're in the news
For cultural appropriation
Sorry🎵

🎵Play a game
Q and A
You can do most anything
So long as it's 10 minutes on
And you keep posting everyday
Quantity or quality
What do people wanna see?
It ain't that hard if you reread
Only one ends with a "Tity"
And people might say
You're selling out this way
But are the views still coming in?
Actions are louder they say
So no I'm not tryna hate
And no I'm not throwing shade
This strat's an art in itself
That makes a lot of monet🎵

🎵So what else can get you views?
How about a house tour dude?
Type your own name into google?
Or a Kanye shoe review?
But if your growth is still so slow
Maybe it's time for GMOs
Just head up to the watering hole
You'll need some beef if you wanna roast
Take the shot
He'll take shots back
You call it war
I say collabs
Sure call us petty
We'll just laugh
Don't look at us
Blame all these fans
Now you're finally getting views
But wait there's one last left to do
Here's the #1 way
For you to get views on Youtube🎵

🎵Sign a contract
Promo Youtube TV
Go to fan fests
Make a Youtube Red series
Rewind it back
And you'll be trending
All week long
Ohhhh
They will take care of you
Play ball and you will benefit too
No shade just spreading the truth
These are all the best ways
To get views on Youtube🎵

All: Yeah!
Paco: Dude! Our new apology video got twice the views of our third and fourth video combined.
Sean: Hell yeah. That's wassup!
Will: Look at all these money!
Paco: We are set for life!
Derrick: Hold on! Guys, guys, guys! I just find out how we can make even more money.
Will: What?
Paco: How?
Derrick: There's ads on Facebook now. We can take all the same videos that we've been uploading on here and upload them on Facebook and make twice as much money.
All: No way! *laughs*
Ryan: Ohh, that sucks.
Paco: Wait, what sucks?
Ryan: Well, you guys just said the F word twice. So that's two strikes on your account.
Paco: What?
Sean: Two strikes?
Ryan: One more and you guys would pretty much-
Paco: We didn't say the F word.
Derrick: Yeah. We were just talking about how there's ads on Facebook now.
Ryan: And there's strike #3.
All: Woah! Woah! Wait! Nooooo!
Derrick: Man, this sucks!