Synectica

Chapter 19

Netta could think of nothing but how sore her feet were. Murky water splashed her pant cuffs as she tramped through puddle after puddle that managed to patchwork themselves across the sidewalk. Her hands were numb and stiff and her nose had lost all feeling. For all the specificity of their computer algorithm, they were still having difficulty figuring out exactly where Alex was. James walked with a tablet under his nose, glaring at the red dot which reflected back onto his face in the dark. Netta had had to restrain Ryan from hitting James multiple times in the last hour, his fiery gaze now so transfixed on the the back of James' head that she worried he might actually set him on fire. She slipped her slender, cold hand into his warm one and he managed to pull his gaze away, squeezing her hand in response.

"Next one is a block down," James muttered over his shoulder.

Netta made a small noise of confirmation and continued to walk in silence, the sound of their feet slapping through puddles seeming to be the only thing they shared in common now. Steam hissed around Ryan's feet, but he remained otherwise grounded.

How did he hide all this from them for so long? It had only been months since Netta joined them, but Ryan and Sophie had been a part of their family for years. Underneath all his rage, she knew Ryan was just as hurt as she was, if not more so. But somehow, all Netta could feel for James and Ella was pity. They had surely lied to them, but you can't fake it all – some of it had to be true – it had to be. For her sanity, it had to be. She knew they weren't bad people so even if they did hurt them, did they even want to? Was this the life they chose?

"Ella says their coordinates are a negative as well," James called over his shoulder as he expected Ryan and Netta to be farther behind him than they actually were – truly a testament to his lack of spatial awareness. Or awareness of any social cues really.

And then it dawned on her.

"Ella," she mumbled under her breath.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"N-nothing," Netta mumbled.

There was always something off between James and Ella. She had thought it was just that he was incapable of handling his obvious feelings for her mixed with some kind of social unawareness. But after months of watching them interact she realized that they knew the extent of each other's feelings. The question that remained from this was why neither of them ever acted on their feelings. But James had said that they were partners. They were partners in a mission that required them to remain professional. Which must have meant that any personal feelings for each other had to be locked away, shoved down deep so that no one would ever know that they had a history; not just with each other, but also with Quacistria.

Netta almost tripped over her feet, utterly dumbstruck.

If they had started their mission years ago, when Ryan and Sophie first joined, then they had been forced to live and work together, all the while unable to actually be together. How much pain had they endured, forcing themselves apart for years, knowing their feelings remained but nothing could be done about it? How had the years of restrain and fake politeness to mask their true feelings tortured and enslaved them to the point of miserable insanity? It just didn't seem fair. It seemed that they were much pawns in Melna's little games as she was. She supposed they maybe, possibly, did deserve her sympathy.

"How can you say that?" Ryan scoffed.

"How can I not? Have you even tried to imagine what their lives must have been like all these years?"

"Yeah. Full of lies."

"Well maybe they didn't want to lie. Maybe Melna forced them."