Rise of the Morning Star [Project Discontinued]

Hello

        Hello there, I'm sure you're probably some emo kid picking this up because you saw it involved the devil. I'm here to show you that I'm just like you, except an all powerful angel who gives a fuck. Also I'm way more prideful, even more than one of those parades in LA that people blame me for, I know, EVEN more pride.
      Or maybe your some religious person who seems to think they're the next messiah coming to save humanity and to leave comments about how this is wrong and against my father. Well I'll tell you something about your God, he's a fucking dick and his whore Micheal is a whiny ass bitch. His son is Jew for Christ's sake, yet he is all about this Christianity thing. I'm sure Jesus was weeping for years, especially with all that shit that went down in Europe awhile ago. I still have that toothbrush mustached prick in hell. God he's annoying. All like,"hail me, I'm perfect." "I made Germany Great again." Pfft, Germany Never was great, God purposefully made that place boring, it wasn't meant to be inhabited. Now Italy, that's where it's at. Mmm, good food, good sun. Any further north and it all goes to shit.
       Oh I should talk about what's actually going to happen, well you see, a few days ago God came marching up and was all like, "you can come back to heaven if you redeem yourself in mortal form and fix some of your mess." Then two days later I woke up in a hotel in America, no magic or nothing. I'm fucking Kentucky or some other south place like that, land of gambling, whiskey and incest. People blame me for that, they don't realize that a Hindu god or some other religion made that stuff a thing. We were all like, "why make these stupid things all fuck each other, just don't make them fuck their siblings, that is bad." And Buddha was like "nahhh man, let's have them fuck." And that my friends is how incest starts.
     To start my adventure I'm going to have to find a particularly nasty demon in Florida eating all the elderly people down there. Oops.

         Hey, tell me what you think. I'm trying to create an offensive 4th wall breaking antihero who offends everyone and is just flat out a dick. Please share your thoughts.