XX:11

Prologue

We were laying on a hill- a cold hill, I must add. My hand was slowly losing feeling but I didn't really mind at the moment. Mary- my best friend turned girlfriend/ish- was using it to support her head like a pillow.

It was nice to be sitting out here with her. Knowing that she was safe and happy, that I was here with her, making sure that she was safe and happy.

Things have been a little rough for her lately, and it killed me to see it all go down. I'm here for her, though, and I've been trying my best to fix my broken girl. I miss the old her.

I brought her up here because I know she loves looking at the stars. She's a hardcore nerd for astrology. Her whole room- even the wallpapers on her phone- are somehow space related. it's cute, to be honest.

The whole thing started a few months ago. We'd been friends for years and all that time, neither of us understood the feelings we had for each other. We played them off as if they were like sisterly love. Nothing else.

It wasn't until it started did I really understand my feelings.

It was late at night, maybe around eleven o'clock sometime when she called me, her voice barely a whisper and shaky. I could tell she'd been crying.

She never answered me when I asked what was wrong but instead, I sat on the line with her for twenty minutes in silence before she spoke up, her voice broken, and asked me if I could come over. 

I didn't hesitate, knowing that my parents would understand a little when I explained to them the next morning why I was out. Her house wasn't too far from mine so I jogged most of the way. My mind raced with everything. I am a heavy overthinker so a million scenarios have already played through my mind and I was getting more and more fearful as I walked up to her door.

I reached under the mat, grabbing a key and not hesitating to unlock the door. I knew her parent would be out tonight. Both of them work at the children's hospital down in the city so she was alone all night. What could have happened...- My heart raced as I hurriedly climbed the stairs.

When I got to her door, I hesitated. I could hear her quietly crying as I stood there. The house was so quiet that it was easily heard.  I opened the door quietly and slipped into her dark room. I looked around, finding she wasn't there but in the bathroom which was, in fact, unlocked.

I softly knocked on the door a few times, calling her name in concern.

After a few moments, I heard her get up and come to the door, "Please don't get mad." She shakily asked. I made a promise with myself that no matter what, I wouldn't get mad at whatever was going on.

I slowly pushed the door open. What I saw shocked me, and at that moment, I just wanted to- nevermind. I slowly walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

"Mary-" I said, reaching towards her a little bit.

"I'm sorry." She choked and fell to the floor.

I sat down next to her, "It's okay." I whispered, pulling her closer to me in a hug. After a minute, I pulled back, looking down at her arms. My worst fears had been confirmed.

I took in a breath and had her stand up, then proceeding to lift her up onto the counter. She was pretty light. She was only a little shorter than me but about three times lighter, which I was very worried about now because things were beginning to click together.

I grabbed a cloth from a drawer and wet it, pausing before her, "Tell me if it hurts, and I'll stop okay?"

She nodded. We locked eyes for a second and in that second, I just wanted to start crying as well, but I knew I couldn't. All I saw was pain and sadness. I wanted nothing more than to get that look out of her eyes.

I began to wipe off some of the blood as gently as I could. She scrunched her face up and I pulled my hand away.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"It's fine, it just... hurts." It went unspoken what she really meant. I won't say what that means but I knew, and it's now only between her and I.

Within ten or so minutes, I had cleaned off her cuts and wrapped them up quite nicely I must say. I was pretty impressed with myself. With her parents being doctors and all, her house had a running supply of this stuff.

She sat down on the edge of her bed, looking down.

"I'm sorry, Sarah. I don't kn-"

"Mary, it's alright. I understand, you don't need to explain."

She gave a slight nod and at that, I'd reached my limit. I'd been holding back for a little bit and seeing her like this; it just broke me.

I placed my hands on either side of her face, wiping away her tears with my thumbs. I leaned forward. My heart was beating out of my chest. I knew in that moment that this could either destroy or change our friendship forever.

I closed my eyes, telling myself that there was no going back now, and I kissed her. After a second of pure shock, I felt her slightly kiss back. My heart was pounding in my head.

I pulled back first, I could see a slight smile on her lips. I smiled a little too.

"It's about time you realized." Mary chuckled. I knew that my mom and dad would have a very ah, big problem with two teenage girls kissing but in that moment, I really didn't care. I would have to deal with them later.

She fell asleep wrapped in my arms that night, I'd have to say that it was one of the best night of my life despite the whole thing with mary starting to cut. I knew I'd be able to help her out of that so I didn't worry very much from then on.

And now we are here. Laying on a hill in the middle of Fall looking up at the stars.

"Saturn..." Mary said. Saturn was a nickname given to me that night by her when I gave her the nickname Mars. The planets both begin with the letters of our names so I found her nickname quite fitting.

"Yeah?"

"If I go before you... I'll tell the stars you said hello." She gave a slight smile.

"Mary... Don't say that. You're not going anywhere, not if I have something to say about it." I rolled over and slung my arm over her waist. She put her hand on my back, scratching a few times before it stilled.

"I love you, you know that right?" Mary looked over at me, I could tell she wasn't joking this time. I could see that she was serious. It made my whole body heat up despite the cold.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I love you too."