Guys I'm so proud of this. This ending isn't cringe either. I successfully made an angst piece that dosesn't end in cringey I love you's. Also note that the characters such as Alissa or Jake I did not mean to make them have a specific role if you like them or if you don't like the role I made them as. But just live in a world where you're both friends.
"I didn't know if I could do it again, I made... we made the relationship so public, and the way it ended... was also public. I owe you guys an explanation." You and Anthony had become that relationship that everyone envied. Youtubers wanted what you had, your fans wanted it. People hated on you just because they wanted it. It all stemmed from jealousy. You looked at the camera and took a deep breath before talking again. "I met Anthony through Alissa. After all this shit with Jake happened, I met Anthony." You didn't want to go through the motions again, but you did. You didn't want to go through all the things you did, all the sins. "Alissa wanted me to join Team 10 to give herself closure than was her weird way of sending someone in replacement for her, someone she loved, someone she knew could do a good job. Who was strong."
Your phone rung. And you didn't look, you didn't want to see who it was, it would compromise your thoughts. "I walked into the Team 10 house and saw Anthony, he was the first person I saw. And although I had seen him first, and thought he was hot. It wasn't loved at first sight. At Least not for me. A month later Anthony and I were a thing. We couldn't talk to other people, we couldn't fuck other people but each other, but we weren't together."
You knew you weren't going to cry. You didn't want to cry, you had cried too much. "Until... we were together. And I'm not going to lie. I loved every moment of it. I loved the love, I love his words, his looks, his body. I loved the sex, I loved the protection. I loved everything about what we had. And when you're so passionate about someone, the arguments you have to get so fucking intense.
You ran your hands through your hair and one more time took a deep breath. It burned a hole through your chest. "Our breakup was completely compromised. People were getting into my head, telling me things about him. And people were doing the same to him. Jake talked about me, Chance, Chad. It was after I left Team 10. I left Team 10 to pursue my dreams of being a model, and along with that journey, I was reunited with Alissa. I did not leave Team 10 for clout gang." You set your hands on your lap and pulled the hair out of your face. "I'm not in clout gang. But it was after that moment that Jake, Chance, everyone thought I had left for clout gang when I didn't." You looked off into the distance, knowing you were going to have to edit this part out after. "Jake just thought that. And things went out of control. Jake was telling Tony stupid shit, I could only imagine. Chance was trying to convince him to leave me. And Jake was doing the same to me, saying Anthony didn't deserve me. He said it to both of us. Playing into both of us. Jake isn't a bad person. He was hurt at the time and did some shit. Bad shit."
You didn't know why you were making this video. You didn't want people to know, but you did. "This was when shit went down, even if we stayed together because I was losing friends who had power and influence in Tony's life." You continued.
"There was one night, we were both drunk and we came back to our hotel room. And we were horny, we wanted to have sex. Than somewhere from that it turned to Anthony asking me about all the things Jake said. I asked him about what Jake said to me and it turned insane. We both thought we were both lying. We were so hurt. I was crying. Anthony was crying. And all of a sudden Anthony just throws his wine glass. And after that, I knew it was all falling it apart. It was raining wine and glass. And I felt like I could feel the glass under my skin. Like I said, Anthony and I were drunk on lies that other people told us. That made us completely lose trust in one another and it tore us apart."
Tonight I'll call ya.
"Anthony was more hurt than I was. Anthony. Anthony, and guys in general I guess. Anthony can't handle the pain we both indured with the same composure I had, and I think that hurt him more, that I went through life, our time together, looking untouched. When really I was broken. Anthony can't handle pain period. He feels everything, so much so, that his emotions break him. He let our love take over, and I did too. And if love like that ends. Well, shit just hurts."
You didn't understand how it started or how it all happened, but you knew it did. And that you can't go back. You have to keep going.
"It sounds simple. But when I was going through all these feelings, it wasn't. I love Jake. I love Alissa. I love everyone. And I love Anthony. I love Anthony so much and he knows this. The love I have for Anthony will never go away. It can only subside. Once I have a feeling for someone something will always be there for you. And for Anthony, there will always be something there." You wanted to give you fans hope. "I don't know what will happen next regarding me and Anthony. I don't know if we'll avoid each other. I don't know if this will make it awkward. I don't know if we'll get back together. All I know is what I know now. And that's absolutely nothing. So guys." You took a deep breath and smiled. "So guys, I'm going to stay positive. I hope you guys like this video. Hit the subscribe button and like it. I promise to new subscribers that I'm not this tragic and depressing. Love you guys. Love yours truly, Y/N."
You sat there for a moment sighing. You had finally gotten the video out of the way.
"You really do know how to put on quite a show." Your head felt numb. Why was Anthony's voice in your head again? Your head turned to the door to where he leaned up against it. "You really know how to say how you felt, to the camera, but just not to me." You rolled your eyes. Getting up and turning off the camera.
"I tried Anthony, I wasn't in a good state of mind." How did he even get into your apartment? You thought you changed the lock.
"Stop making excuses," he got louder. "I wanted to fuck you that night. Not to have my heart broken." That played over and over in your mind "I didn't listen to what Jake and Chance said, you just got all distant as soon as I mentioned sex."
You didn't think of it that way. You didn't realize that if you didn't hold back doubt would have never been plated in his mind.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know that." And rightfully so, you still wanted shit to work.
"If you let me say that, you would know." You turned to him. His tall frame still leaning up against the door frame. You walked closer. You were a foot apart. He looked down at you, he wasn't crying. He looked fine. You both did.
"And I'm tryna fuck you tonight and not have my heart broken, so if you can sit your ass on the fucking bed that would be appreciated."
So you walked over to your bed and sat down just like he said.
I did that. I hope you guys like. Vote and comment.
