You stood next to Joe as you watched Savitar with Iris in his hold across from Barry. You felt so many emotions going through you at once from sadness to anger and overwhelming. Everyone knew that Iris will survive but how? Everyone else were happy in this very moment even Iris herself but you...you were not. What's there to be happy about? You were going to die regardless; there's nothing you could do to change that.
You see Savitar stab Iris in the back and your eyes widen.
"The futures changed?" You mumbled to yourself as Barry catches her and out he corner of your eye you see Joe lower his gun.
"Joe...I'm so sorry" You whisper to the older man that was now shedding tears.
"Dad" H.r's voice makes you turn around and you make a confused expression when he presses the button on the transmogrifier; revealing Iris West.
"Iris you're alive...but that means-" You stop yourself, turning to look at Barry again but seeing H.r on the ground looking up at him as his life slipped away.
—
Here you stood in front of H.r's casket as Iris said a few words about him. You felt as if the man died in vain; he sacrificed himself for Iris. Once again someone picked up the pieces for Barry Allen and it wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair that H.r gave his life for Iris when the whole point of him coming to earth 1 was to finally start his own life, his own journey but it ended too soon. It wasn't fair that Barry immediately started avoiding you that night H.r died. It wasn't fair that he treated you like dirt because you weren't going to pick up his pieces.
You swallowed the lump in your throat as you placed the white roses on H.r's casket, letting your hand linger on the smooth surface before letting go and wiping the tear off your face.
Soon the funeral was over and you hear Iris talking to Barry about their wedding and you can't help but feel disgusted. She already moved on from the fact H.r was dead...because of her.
You roll your eyes, making your way back to your car but you come to a stop when you hear Cisco call out to you.
"Where you going?" He questions and you rub your hands against your black slacks.
"I'm just going to head home Cisco; it's been a long day for me" you sigh
"It's only 11 in the morning "
"Cisco...please" Your voice cracked and you mentally facepalmed, you had tried to hide your emotional state but it didn't work hopefully Cisco didn't hear.
"Is it about Barry" His voice lowered so the others wouldn't hear him but before you could say anything Iris walks over to you.
"So guys Barry and I wanted to head to Jitters are you coming?" She clasps her hands together as she turned her attention towards you.
"Um sure I'll go"
"Great" She smiles before walking over to Barry, grabbing his hand.
"Y/n if you don't want to go you don't have too...you know that right?" Cisco looks into your teary eyes and you nod
"I know Cisco, I'm going to try once more"
"Okay"
-
Once you arrive at Jitters you walk through the door instantly spotting the others. You walk over to the group with a small smile on your face, sitting next to Cisco.
"We got you black coffee if that's okay" Joe says and you grab the coffee cup from the container, the warmth instantly warming up your hands.
"It's fine Joe, thank you" You smile and the older man just nods at you before turning his attention to Barry and Iris.
"So Barry, what's the next move"
"What do you mean"
"Well everything has calmed down now, what are you gonna do next"
"Well uh-"
"Barry and I are going to plan our wedding" Iris interrupts as she turned to look at Barry.
"Right barr"
"Yeah uh right" He nervously scratches the back of his neck. He wasn't so sure about marrying Iris now, future Barry told him she would eventually find someone else so why even go through with the wedding.
The tension was too much for you but you just bit your lip as you tapped your fingers against your coffee cup.
"I sent out the invitations let me know when you get it" Iris says before taking a sip of her coffee.
Soon everyone begins talking at once, saying they got their invitation except for you but did you say anything...no. You didn't even want to go and maybe you could use not getting one as an excuse for not showing up that is until Barry asked if you got yours.
"Huh?" Your eyes snapped to his, jumping slightly.
"Did you get an invitation to the wedding?"
"Um yeah I got mine" You lied with a smile.
"This was nice guys but I really got to head home; I would like some rest before I get called into work" You stand up and stretch, putting on your coat and saying goodbye to everyone, taking one last look at the group before walking out the door.
—
You let go of your shield as soon as you stepped foot out your car. The tears flowed down your face and you didn't bother to wipe them away. Your boss called and texted you at least 50 times while you were in the car even Cisco called but you were too upset to answer any of them.Barry loved Iris you knew that but god, it hurt. Nothing else matters to him if its not Iris then Bartholomew Allen doesn't give a damn. He got his happy ending, he gets to marry the love of his life its too bad you would never have the opportunity to do so.
You grabbed the first pill bottle you saw which happened to be your medication from depression before your vision became blurry from the tears. You bit your lip as you tried your best to calm down but you only got worse.
Untwisting the cap you threw your head back not caring about how many pills found its way down your throat.
You dialed Barry's number and pressed the phone up to your ear as it began to ring and your heart breaks when it gets to the second ring and cuts off. He declined your call.
Sobbing instantly you tried again but this time you left a voicemail.
"Hi Barry, by the time you listen to this I'll most likely be dead. I just want to ask you why Barry why did you treat me like dirt underneath your fucking shoe. Why was Iris so much more important than me huh barr? How come I wasn't good enough for you Barry..."
Your voice was shaky as your sobs became less as you felt extremely tired.
"You didn't even try to save me...because you had her and now...I am dead" Your voice comes out as a whisper and you click end call right before you pass out.
YOU ARE READING
End of time
FanfictionMoving on from Barry was a hard thing especially when you see him every day but you had to do it. Finally saving Iris everything was back to the way it was...wasn't it?