End of time

Chapter 7

Barry closes the door to the loft, locking it and turning around to see Iris hanging up her coat.
"Hey um Iris, we need to talk" He feels his throat get dry as he takes her hand and lead her to the couch.
"What's wrong Barr?" Her voice was quiet as she looked at Barry with a frown.
"When I went to the future...I went to see you and you were with someone else, starting a family" He bites his lip, waiting for her reaction.
"Barr, that doesn't mean anything okay the future can change"
"Iris, you cheated on me; future me said so I mean you survived Savitar and we was going to carry on with the wedding so-"
"Barry what do you mean by "was" She lets go of his hands, crossing her arms as she stared at him with raised eyebrows.
"I just don't...want to marry you anymore Iris" He whispers, nervously reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.
"Excuse me, Barry...I swear this better be a joke"
"Iris no its not a joke okay; what's the point of getting married if you're going to just find someone else" He slightly raised his voice and Iris quickly stands up. He felt his phone vibrate in his pockets, checking the caller ID he hits decline he would call you after he gets done with Iris.
"Barry I would never-...the point of us getting married barr is so we can grow together...we were destined to be together.
"Iris, everything that's been happening is exactly what future me said will happen...the only thing left now is y/n dying but I'm not gonna let that happen " He whispers as he runs his hand through his hair.
"So that's what this is about...you have feelings for her don't you"Iris had her suspicions already, they only grew more overtime and with Barry bringing you up now she felt as if Barry had fallen for you.
"Iris"
"No Barry tell me"
"I have to save her Iris that doesn't mean I have feelings for her"
"She's going to die regardless, stop trying to play god Barry sometimes you have to let things happen"
"You weren't saying that when Savitar was trying to kill you" Barry knew what he said was wrong but what she said was even worse. Silence filled the room as the two stared at each other, Iris had her hands on her hips as she bit her bottom lip and Barry breathing heavily. It was too much, maybe him and Iris were forcing their relationship in a time where it wasn't right.
"Iris I...I just don't want to go through with the wedding okay; you stay at the loft and I'll stay with Cisco tonight" with that being said Barry leaves Iris standing in the middle of the room as she tried not to cry.
*
Barry waits outside Cisco's door for what seemed like forever. He was going to knock again until the door swings open.
"Hey man what brings you here" Cisco greets before letting Barry in.
"Um Iris and I had a disagreement I'm sure it'll blow over in the morning" Barry had his hands in his pockets as he went to sit on the couch.
"What did you two fight about this time?" Cisco comes back with two beers, giving Barry one.
"I want to call off the wedding" Cisco chokes on his drink and starts violently coughing making Barry quickly pat him on the back.
"Wait a minute I have to go get myself together" Cisco gets up, still coughing a little as he makes his way to the bathroom.
Barry sighs, leaning back on the couch. He remembers you called him and decided that now was a great time to call you back. He sits his beer on a nearby table stand when he gets his phone out.
2 missed calls 1 voicemail his phone read. He goes to his call history, seeing it was you who left the voice mail. He hits play before bringing the phone up to his ear.
"Hi Barry" The message begins to play and a frown forms on his face when he hears the shaky tone in your voice.
As you went on Barry's heart dropped at every word that left your mouth. Everything Savitar and future Barry said was happening and it was all his fault.
"You didn't even try to save me...because you had her and now...I am dead"
To replay this message please press 1
But Barry didn't even hear the voice machine due to the fact he dropped his phone and left for your place.
"Okay man so tell me-......Barry?" Cisco comes to a stop, noticing Barry was gone.
*
Barry has tears when he comes to a stop at your place. He sees the door halfway open and he quickly rushes in.
"Y/n" he calls out
He kept walking until he stepped on something, moving his foot he looks down to see a crushed pill surrounded by other pills leading to the pill bottle that wasn't far from your limp hand.
Barry flashes next to you heart beating insanely fast as he tried to calm down. He could see the tear streaks on your face and he felt even worse. Quickly picking you up he sat you in his lap as he dialed Joe's number.
"What's up barr?"
"Joegettoy/n'splacenowbringanambulance" He says using his speed frantically as he pulled you closer to his chest.
"Wait a minute barr slow down"
"Get to y/n's place now please she overdosed" Barry felt as if he was about to collapse due to lack of oxygen. His chest tightened every second that went by, feeling like an eternity.
"Okay I'll bring an ambulance too" He threw his phone to the side and took off his gloves before sticking two fingers down your throat.
"Come on y/n" He pants but nothing happens it was too late the pills had already digested in your system.
Barry was sitting against the kitchen counter with you still in his lap when he heard sirens outside. EMT's make their way inside with a gurney, gently picking you up and laying you down on it.
"Flash, do you know what's she overdosed with" An EMT questions and he turns and points at the pill bottle that was still on the floor.
Barry didn't move from his spot on the floor...he couldn't he was in too much shock to do anything. Everything was blurry as his eyes watered the last thing he saw was your arm hanging off the gurney as the EMT's rolled you out the house.
Joe was in front of him now but he couldn't hear what the man was saying, everything sounded muffled.
"Barr" Joe waves his hand in front of his face and Barry still doesn't respond, your words replaying in his mind like a broken record.
"You didn't even try to save me"
It was all his fault he knew it now, he ignored you because of his love for Iris he let you slip right between his fingers.
He basically punished himself and he deserved it.
*
Barry hears a knock echo in his small apartment. Getting up he drags himself to the door and opens it, revealing Joe in a black suit as he held an obituary...your obituary.
"How was the funeral" He mumbles as Joe walks in the door, taking a look around the tiny space.
After your death Barry moved out the loft and got his own place since he refused to live with Joe, he simply wanted to be alone.
"You would know if you'd shown up" Joe takes a seat in the uncomfortable couch before setting the obituary down on the small end table next to him.
"You know I couldn't" Barry looks down at the older man, fidgeting as he stood in place. He didn't know what to do with himself.
"You could've came Barry, you just didn't want too; You're too busy drowning yourself in guilt"
"Joe I-"He pauses, looking for the right words but there wasn't any.
"She was everything to me Joe, I couldn't see her in that casket"
"If she was everything to you then you would've came"
"What's the point its not like me showing up will bring her back"
"SHE'S GONE BARRY, that was a chance for you to redeem yourself for what you've done and you didn't show up...I didn't raise you that way" Joe stares at him for a second, letting the tension rise.
Barry puts his hands in his pockets, releasing his tears as Joe stands up and gives him a pat on the shoulder before walking over to the door.
"You take care of yourself barr" was the last thing Joe said before the door closed.
Barry picks up the obituary, your face on the cover and the pain in his heart becomes unbearable as his fingers felt the smooth vanilla colored paper, flipping it open instantly see pictures of you everywhere and he couldn't take it.
He drops the obituary and sobs again, shoulders shaking violently. You were the only reason he kept fighting everyday as The Flash and now with you gone it just made his job even harder.
Later that night Barry calls your phone for the 10th time letting your voicemail play on speaker. He would leave voice mails apologizing although he knew you would never listen to them.
"Hi, sorry I can't answer the phone right now but if you leave a message I'll surely get back to you" He hears himself say something in the back ground, causing you to laugh until he heard a beep letting him know it was his turn to talk.
"Hey y/n...um I just wanted to tell you I'm so sorry for everything I've done I let you die and I hate myself for it I just thought I leave one last message I-I love you so much always have and always will...until the end of time"
He ends the call, grip tightening around the phone as he brings his knees to his chest, burying his head in his arms.

He will never forgive himself.