I like you better with no clothes on | g.d + e.d

Time to Forgive.

I sat down with them, concentrating on my breathing. They were staring at me, passion ignited in both of them. Looking at them hurt, knowing what I decided resulted in one of their hearts being broken.
"I'm going to speak the most during this. Is it okay if you both just sit here and listen? I have a lot to say."
They both nodded, sitting back.

"First of all, this is my fault. Every single fucking bit of this. I'm going to be blunt and honest, because you both probably feel used and angry. Grayson, we started our relationship as friends with benefits and I think that was the downfall. Ethan was right, you slept around, fucking other girls because it was fun. But that was what fuelled me to fuck Ethan. He was just so.. perfect. He was hot, funny, kind and I knew I wouldn't be in a position where I'd feel jealous because he didn't fuck other girls like it was a sport." 
Grayson flinched, the truth hurt. Ethan nodded in agreement, he knew he was a rebound, a way to get back at Grayson for his actions.

"But that doesn't make what I did right either. Ethan, I toyed with your feelings, made you feel one way when I was still in love with Grayson. But you had a girlfriend. There is no way in hell that makes me worse in this position. Atleast I wasn't with Grayson and you knew about our 'relationship' as friends with benefits because we talked about it. You lied to me, saying you loved me and that you were different when in result, you were worse. Understand where I'm coming from?"
Ethan was the one to sour up this time, throwing the harsh reality to all of this.

"You're both in the wrong, and I'm in the wrong. To conclude we're all in the wrong. Yeah?"
They looked at each other and nodded, it felt like I was in a camera angle of their videos. It felt so unreal.
I knew what I wanted and how this was going to play out, I needed to resist myself. Flirting was dark and wrong. 

"I'm with Grayson, so flirting with you Ethan is practically cheating. We masturbated together, that's a line crossed way too far. Gray, you've changed and I know you have. But I feel like I haven't. I did this to you and you should hate me, but you don't. And that's why I can see you've grown. You seriously want a life with me and from this day on, there will be NO lies and secrets. I fucking love you and I don't deserve your love."
Gray looked up to me and it looked like he was going to cry. It made me tear up just admitting my crimes to him.

"I'm sorry."
I looked at Ethan, who had apologised, his head tipped down to the floor.
"I'm sorry for getting inbetween your relationship, letting my love grow for you and for what? I had no chance from the get go, but I still let it grow. I just want you guys to be happy. I'm willing to move on, find my own happiness."

Grayson shuffled over to him pulling him into a hug as Ethan started to cry.
"Please don't cry. And please don't be sorry, I did this to you, I made this happen. You should be forgiving me for what I did to you, not the other way round E."
I stood up and motioned Grayson to move over so I could sit in the middle. He moved and let me sit down to pull Ethan into a hug.
He accepted it, hugging back which already helped with his jagged breathing. I rubbed his back a few times, letting him cry it out. He slowly stopped, composing himself.

I pulled back and looked at Grayson, kissing him on the cheek.
"I love you." I whispered in his ear.
"I love you too." He grabbed my hands and gave them a reassured squeeze.

We sat in silence, thinking through everything for ourselves. Eventually, I decided to speak up.
"This trip didn't really turn into what we planned. We've only been here for nearly a day and it's just ended up in tears!" in an attempt to lighten the mood.
They both chuckled, which was a good sign.
"Can we all come to an agreement that we just want what's best for us? Love, happiness and trust."
"Yes." They both said in unison.

I took hold of both of their hands, rubbing them sympathetically.
"Are we staying or are we going home? My birthday is officially over, which may have been an emotional roller coaster but was by far my favourite I've ever had."
"There's no point leaving, we just arrived. Now that we have fixed our problems, how about we just enjoy having fun.  Just a time to be free and young." Grayson stated. It was a pretty good point, there was no reason to leave now that we had closed the wounds. All we needed now was them to heal. We were all on the same page about our situations so taking advantage of what we had was the best bet.