Change of Plans

Chapter 31

           

My phone ringing at three in the morning was not the way that I'd envisioned my day starting, but April did. I squinted at the screen, my fingers hesitating to swipe it and accept her call. Was I ready to begin my day with the drama that a 3 a.m. call brought? No. Absolutely not.

"Hello?"

"I think that I probably killed someone in a previous life," April stated, matter-of-factly. "That's the only explanation that I can come up with as to why in the hell my life is the hot pile of shit that it is."

I listened, not saying anything because it was obviously just a call to vent to someone, and I was bone tired and tended to give nightmarishly bad advice when my brain sleeps until noon, and that was on a good day.

"I mean, come on." She laughed, and it was a sound that made my ears burn at such an ungodly hour. "Jason freaking broke up with me. Jason!"

I nodded although she couldn't see me, thinking to myself that we were finally getting to the root of her wake-up call. We hadn't discussed their breakup in a while and it was about damn time that we did. Just maybe not right this instant.

"How did I manage to lose the affection of the single most perfect person on the planet?" I had a few theories, but I wisely kept them to myself. "I must've killed someone, and this is my karma. I freaking hate karma."

I nodded again, feeling completely inept to comment on the situation. I really just wanted to sleep. Honestly. Truly.

"Well?" April said a bit too harshly. "No wise words?"

"It's way too early to be having such a loaded conversation?" I offered.

"Don't be that person," she said with a hint of annoyance. "It's been well over fifteen minutes, so you should be fully up by now."

I sighed. "April, it is three in the freaking morning."

"And I am having an emotional crisis," she countered.

"Its three in the morning," I reiterated. It wasn't that I didn't want to deal with her early morning blues, but.... I didn't want to deal with her early morning blues.

"Have you spoken to him?"

My heart sank. So much for not dealing with it. "No. He ignores my calls and frankly I'm tired of fighting a losing battle."

She sighed. "I miss him so much."

"I know, I'm sorry. I miss him too."

"Yeah." She sniffled, and I sucked in a breath. Tears were not on the agenda. "I think I'll go back to sleep. Thanks for listening to my rant."

"Don't thank me just yet," I said, trying to make my voice sound lighter than I felt. "I'm blocking you for this."

She let out a watery laugh. "I love you, too."

Of course, I couldn't sleep after being up for so long. Whether I wanted to be or not, I was wide awake and not too pleased about it. I opened the Instagram app on my phone and before I knew what I was doing, I was 23 weeks deep into Aiden's profile, trying not to accidentally like anything.

I sighed dreamily and let myself, just this once, think about him without holding back. My heart rate seemed to slow down as I held my breath and when my body started to overheat from the lack of oxygen in my bloodstream, I let it out.

I feared what falling for him would do to me, not because I didn't trust that he'd fall for me too, but because it would make me vulnerable and he'd be one more person that could shatter me completely.