A Caged Birds' Thoughts

4.

VoIcEs

I know I haven't done anything.

But the tears just wont stop.
What's a lie?

What's true?

You can't always keep me at bay.
One day, You wont get away.

I had you when you were younger,

I'll have you when you're older.

You can not escape me.

I live in the one place 
You are scared to be.

The place you are weak.

Your mentality.
You think you are strong.

You think you are safe.

But you've forgotten, I own this place.

My own playground.

Oh how I love the twist

and turns.

The ups and downs.

You wont believe the things I've seen,

The things I've created.

You will always be fat.

You will always be weak.

You will always be afraid.

And that's what I love.

You are afraid to love.

You are afraid to feel

You are afraid to trust

You are afraid to everything.

You haven't even told him about them.

I know you won't tell him about me.

Are you scared?

I know you are.

He'll know your secret.

He'll know you're crazy.

You don't want him to know.

To know that you still try to cut

To know that you are broken

To know that you are weak

To know that you are pathetic

A pathetic anorexic that just can't cope.

No matter what you do, I will never let you go.

I taught you 

I taught you to steal

I taught you to keep quiet.

Best of all,

I taught you to lie.

You lie about being okay.

You lie about feeling love.

You lie about everything.
Sweetheart, 

You will Never be okay.

You will  never find someone.

You will always be alone.

You've known this since the day we met.

You will always cry instead of fight,

You will always submit.

You don't want them to know,

The reason why you are so guarded

The reason why you are so quiet

The reason why you are so weak

The reason why you are so pathetic,

But the truth is,

You are too afraid.

My pathetic anorexic child,

You can never get rid of me.

Even in death, I will be apart of you.

That can't be true.

I am not afraid.

But they can't know.

He can't know.

They'll look at me differently.

They'll try to fix me.

I know I'm strange,

but i'm not insane.

You are right.

I just can't cope.

Night after night,

water falls from my eyes

I try to muffle the sound as i cry

Even when my eyes are dry, 

I still continue to cry.

My heart may not be whole,

But it is pure.

I can't fight you,

I know that's true.

But the lies you have told me

are embedded within me.

I will never stop trying to get away from you.

They may never know the truth,

and they don't need to.

As long as i appear okay