NEFARIOUS

24 / 스물 넷

 Eun Jae dreamed of many monstrous things.

 In one of his dreams, he met a  familiar, beautiful girl with vibrant green chima and glowing skin. She was crouching near the river to look for something, and her braided hair fell upon her shoulder. Jae could not be sure if it was from his own memory or from someone else, but he felt he'd seen her face before.

 As if she sensed his presence, she turned over and smiled kindly.

 However, in his dream, Jae tried to hide behind a tree.  But he peeked curiously at her, his small hands touching the coarse skin of tree woods gingerly, and his cheeks heated as the laugh erupted from her mouth.

 She motioned him to come closer at her. "Here, look," she said, excitement rang in her tone, "there's something down there."

 At first, Eun Jae did not want to approach her. But the girl's kind smile warmed his chest, and he eagerly took steps toward her. When he looked down at the river, the reflection of a young boy with curious, large eyes glanced back at him.

 However, a gold-skinned creature shimmered under the yellow rays of sun, swimming serenely underneath the clear river water. There were other smaller ones, circling around continously. Until then, he noticed that they were actually eating some seeds from the river surface.

 "They're goldfish," the girl watched the fishes in wonder, "Beautiful, aren't they?"

 He stared at her soft hands that circled around her knees. It was his burning desperation of wanting to hold her that brought his hand closer to hers. But both of his hands grew bigger, drowning in crimson blood.

 He stared down at himself in horror. The soil beneath him turned into a cracked wooden floor, and he caught a presence of a bloodied knife laying near his own foot. There was no river of gold fishes. It had vanished in his own mind.

 The girl from the river lay soullessly with her stomach flacked open wide. Her nightgown was drowned in crimson color of her own blood.

 She was no longer a small girl with hopeful smiles, but a woman with hollowed eyes staring deep upward. Her mouth hung open, and he thought of her trying to scream before death came upon her.

 Jae heard indistinct voices inside his head. I killed her. I killed her. I killed her. His hands trembled uncontrollably, and his chest hurt in a way thousand arrows pierced through it. He sensed tears streaming down on his cheeks.

 I'm glad  that I killed her.

 He flacked his eyes open.

 The first thing that his gaze fell upon was a dimming light above him, and the next was his head felt incredibly heavy and ached. He tried to move to the side, but the tinge of pain from his shoulder sparked. Sighing, he remained still, and looked around the room.

 Jae was definitely in his own room. His books above the rounded table were placed in neat rows, though he did not know who had cleaned his mess.

 On the side of the door, the cupboard stood high, remained closed the way he'd left it to be. And near him, his twin sister was sitting with closed eyelids on the wooden chair. Her chest fell and rose, breathing in serene, while she intertwined her hands right above her hips.

 The presence of his sister brought relief to his chest. Though he noticed the dark circles under her eyes, and could not help but wonder what had happened while he fainted. At least, she was still alive.

 He stirred in his bed again, making it groan indistinctly. When he glanced at his sister again, she was already staring at him with her weary, half-closed eyelids.