Summary:
Hansol woke awake in the middle of the night. He thought back to how he worked through his past break up.
*****
Nothing But Sunlight - Standing Egg
With eyes closed I shrank back
And the memory in my heart collapses
The time I grasped
Disappeared like a ray of light
“Let's break up.” the words stung Hansol so hurt that he could barely breathing right. As he slowly looked up at the male sitting across him, he could feel a lump choked him when he tried to respond to what Soonyoung told him.
Soonyoung's eyes weren't meeting him because the older was looking at his own hands on the table and Hansol could only follow him as he too looked down at his own fists on his lap which were clenching the hem of oversized light gray hoodie which belonged to Soonyoung.
The unbearable silent felt like clenching around Hansol so tight and his brain made a fuzz as he tried to find the answer to the question which hanging high and big above his head. ‘Why?’
As if he could see the huge question mark on Hansol despite not looking at his direction, Soonyoung heaved a sigh and said. “We're too busy with our works and…” The other letting out another sigh before continuing. “I guess, we have grown apart.”
“Can we…” Hansol started, head tilted up slightly but still looking at his own lap, not brave enough to look at Soonyoung. His words were held back by his heart, he couldn't speak it out without being too emotional. It was too much for him at that time.
“Hansol.” Soonyoung called, and when Hansol looked up at him after some seconds refusing to do so, he dropped his words. Instead, he leaned forward, hand reaching toward Hansol’s cheek.
The other could only stared back at Soonyoung as he felt the other's hand brushed his dark brown hair from his cheek and tucked it behind his ear. A bitter thought made Hansol inched away from Soonyoung's hand and on impulse he brought his hand up and grasped the other's hand. “Hyung.”
Hansol looked at Soonyoung, fingers clenched around his boyfriend’s hand and he tightened his grip when Soonyoung looked down avoiding his stare.
~~~
Hansol woke up startled with sharp panicked inhale. He sat up abruptly on his bed and the fast hurting beat of his heart as the effect of his not so pleasant dream lingered heavily with him for some more minutes after his wake before it subsided into a rather calmer pace.
The young man curled his fingers among his lock of blond hair as he folded his legs and bended slightly forward over his pool of comforter. He could feel the unwanted liquid seeped from behind his eyelids and trailing down his cheek before absorbed by his light blue blanket where they fell onto.
Small sniffles filled the dark space of his bedroom as he stayed in that position with his shoulders shook with the vibration prompted by how hard he was trying to contain himself from crying out loud.
