taciturn | hwang hyunjin

iii.

Y'ALL I TOOK AND ADDED SOME SCENES HERE SO IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU REREAD. PROBABLY WILL WITH CHAP 4 AND 5 TOO. (BUT I'M NOT FORCING YOU TO OK?) STAY HYDRATED GUYS! ♡

t h r e e .

it was just an unfinished poem yet the amount of disburbance yesul felt after reading it was quite overwhelming, she immediately folded and shoved the creased paper inside her bag. his poetry was pretty somber and depressive.

as if it was inviting her.

she shivered the thought away from her mind and just focused on the next class, which was also the last. the thing is, she couldn't. despite forcing herself to write down notes and listen to the teacher, yesul ended up dozing off.

she had stayed up 'til midnight last night finishing her researches and individual projects. then she proceeded to study for a quiz in chemistry until 2 am. she couldn't afford failing since her grades weren't quite doing well.

yesul was woken up by her classmate when class was dismissed so she arranged her things and left the room. she was surely sleepy when she paced on the autumn leaves, which continuously produced multiple cracks everytime she stepped on them.

her vitality only rose a bit when she saw someone's familiar back walking a few yards onward. she immediately quickened her pace to correspond with his speed, just so she could find a reason to not slack off.

"hey." she spoke and tapped his shoulders.

but the tall and svelte lad seemed to be downright flustered at her sudden existence, he instantly bounced away from her hold and looked at her, face completely aghast as though he just came to face a disgusting fiend.

wrong move.

yesul, surprised and a little offended at his reaction, backed away. "i'm sorry." she apologized. "i didn't mean to startle you."

yet hwang hyunjin only remained silent and yes, it was really awkward. yesul felt sorely uncomfortable and frustratingly, only one guy could make her do so at the moment. "i- i just wanted to inform you once again about tomorrow. don't forget."

she waved her hand in front of him, displayed a small crooked smile and dashed off quickly before hyunjin couldn't even give a proper response. not like he would talk either.

his eyes trailed over her small running figure before nonchalantly starting to continue his steps. like nothing just happened, as he always did.

—

"how's school?" mrs. lee greeted yesul as soon as she entered the door and took off her shoes. yesul shrugged.

"school is school. it's fine."

"how about friends?" she asked again and yesul couldn't help but huff a bit. friends? she had a few aquaintances but didn't really have a single person sticking beside her all day.

she's boring and she gets bored of them. she'd rather enjoy her own secret vices than express trouble with 'friends' in public.

"i don't really have friends, mom." the real ones left. "i'll just go upstairs and change."

yesul went to her room, changed into some comfy clothes and plunged into her bed. she stared straight at the ceiling, downright bewildered whether her life felt empty or just mere boring. maybe both.

everyday felt the same. she goes to school, learns, goes back home, does homeworks, studies, sleeps. then the next day, it's the same: the pressure, the hardwork and the stress to ace tests. after the small satisfaction, she'd be back at it again.

yesul's parents never forced her to be like this. but it was evident in their smiles that they're proud everytime she wins quiz bees and the slight disappointment could also be seen if her name drops by a single rank. she just kept working on making her parents pleased that she forgot how to seek happiness for herself.

she sometimes found it awkward conversing with her family during meals. she knew it wasn't healthy anymore but she didn't know what to do.

after the evening rituals, yesul once again locked herself up in her room and tried to start doing her report with hyunjin. it's friday and she wouldn't want to stress herself with school works either. yet she did anyway. she needed a distraction.

but the more she typed in her laptop, the heavier her chest felt. not again. yesul stopped what she was doing and instantly grabbed her phone, scrolling down her contacts to find someone to chat. nothing, just no mutual. great.

she felt hopeless until she remembered someone. she quickly typed in his number and dialled it. after a couple of rings, the other line finally answered.

"hello? yesul?" the familiar voice spoke and yesul's heart sank. she missed him. them. so much.

"h-hey, han jisung." she did her best not to break her voice. she shouldn't cry. at least, not now.

"lee yesul! how are you? aww i miss you so much!"

now, it took her a couple of seconds to respond because the huge nostalgia felt just overwhelmed her. "i-i miss you too. i'm doing fine here. how about you? is jinha already asleep?"

"we're doing fine here too. and yes, she is. she's even snoring lmao. it's almost midnight, why are you still awake?"

"just — doing some things and yeah, i don't know." she bit her lip. she internally cursed for bumbling with her words. silence had engulfed the two for a few moments before jisung started to speak.

"yesul?"

"yeah?"

"are you sure you're fine? something's off with your voice. and you normally wouldn't call me either just to stay quiet. something's wrong, isn't it?"

honestly, she was holding it in, her tears. no other friend could ever tell how she was honestly feeling better than her old friends. jisung almost became a sibling to her along with his twin sister. she leaned on them, cried on them and shared memories with them.

but the two had also their own problems at home and they had to run away. it separated the three but never broke their friendship.

"j-jisung-ah."

"hm?"

"i just feel a little lonely ha-ha." she chuckled, but the pain was there that stumbled with her words. "just feel a little burden."

"hey, tell me. what's bothering you?" worry started to spread over his voice. he knew this girl was prone to dejection and right now, it was obvious that she was feeling miserable.

"not much. i want to tell you something." she paused and jisung anticipated her confession.

she hesitated to talk as she stared at the pack of cigarettes that hid under her drawers. i made a big mistake. she swallowed her saliva before muttering, "nothing. i just really miss you and jinha. when would you visit here?"

the bubbly boy chuckled on the other line. "fine fine, we'll come over next weekend. how about that?"

"that's great. i love you man."

"i know you do. now go to sleep child." he retorted and yesul couldn't help but laugh a bit at his sass.

the two exchanged their goodbyes before ending the call. yesul sighed as she put down her phone and prepared herself to bed. if only you all knew.