taciturn | hwang hyunjin

iv

f o u r.

the next day was supposed to be a cheerful day since it was saturday. no class. yay. but yesul couldn't even showcase a smile when she faced herself in front of the mirror. she barely slept and she looked so messed up.

even until her dreams, the rue, the mistakes, the failures and the green-eyed monster were there to bother her up to her wake. definitely not a good morning.

"i did not raise you up to become like this."

she splashed her face with lukewarm water, trying to eradicate the laden feeling.

"yesul, i don't understand you. why are you so hard to read?"

the whole morning, she didn't do anything relevant or productive. she just wanted to sulk, sleep and not talk at all.

talk. yesul scoffed mockingly at herself for remembering that guy once again just by the thought of silence. now, yesul wasn't lying when she did attempt to try to be like him, since nice words never exited everytime she toiled to open her mouth to speak.

"speak up if you're mad at us for something— just why are you so incomprehensible yesul?!"

after forcing herself to eat an uncomfortable lunch with her parents, she immediately went to her room to prepare herself. everyone around her knew. they felt it too, how she seemed to be so distant from them when in fact, they just lived under the same roof.

when she was done, she strode downstairs to leave. "i'm leaving for a groupwork." she lifelessly said before leaving the house. she didn't even bother to wait for them to say anything.

it was around 1:50 in the afternoon when yesul reached the cafe. she wasn't really the early type of person when it comes to meet-ups but at that time, she just needed an excuse. for she felt suffocated inside her own home.

home. it only does two things: either it does not welcome her, or it makes her a prisoner.

yesul entered the cafe and surprisingly, hyunjin was already there too, seated in the very corner of the cafe with only a few people around him. he looked serious while typing on his laptop. she ambled towards him and gently laid her hand on his shoulder. when she got his attention, she slightly smiled at him.

"you're early." yesul uttered before taking the seat across him and bringing out her laptop.

she wasn't surprised when he didn't talk. she wasn't in the mood to get mad at him either. she was too tired to even mind. the whole one hour, they were both quiet while working. and for that one hour, yesul has already caught him constantly taking a few glances at her, as if he had something to say.

perhaps, because she was frowning? or because the way she pressed on the keyboard was a bit lifeless? nonetheless, her exhaustion seemed to be evident to him. she seemed upset. at him. and he thought that it was maybe because of what had happened yesterday.

"you have something to say hyunjin?" she finally asked when he, once again, stared right through her with his infamous feathery expression.

his eyes blinked and fidgeted several times at her statement, and god knew how much yesul saw him as a lost child. she swore he looked so innocent and astray. as though he didn't have any owner. as though he was a puppy searching for one.

"what's wrong?" she emphasized, eyebrows starting to furrow. yet hyunjin only looked down, mouthed the word 'nothing' while slightly shaking his head. he's a hopeless case. yesul just calmly sighed, afraid to make things as awkward as yesterday again.

"what time are you going to leave then?" she once again asked while typing continuously. yet she eventually winced and hissed for realizing the stupidity.

he wouldn't talk. yesul groaned mentally for the nth time. "just— just show me your work then so i can transfer it to my laptop when you're done."

yesul stopped what she was doing, leaned on the chair and started sipping the frappuccino she had ordered. meanwhile, hyunjin reluctantly shifted his laptop towards her. god knows how conscious he felt when her eyes bore into him.

yesul didn't even notice she was already staring at him. he did look breathtaking. she couldn't really find any part of his face that accentuated his attractiveness aside from his replete lips and the adorable mole below his left eye. god just did really bless him with visual. he only needed to smile more often and girls would start to fall head over heels.

she shook those thoughts away from her mind and just started to edit his work and transfer them to the powerpoint she had made.

1 minute.

3 minutes.

10 minutes of silence passed.

maybe because of the overwhelming voiceless situation, or maybe the airconditioned room was just too cold, yesul stopped herself from editing.

"it's good." she briefly remarked before swiftly closing her laptop and keeping it inside her bag. "i think i need to leave first." she stated firmly.

because it's starting to feel empty once again. the surrounding, the atmosphere, the people. everything just made her feel alone and lost. and it didn't help the fact that she was in company with an awkward and wretched person like her.

hyunjin seemed to be confused at her sudden action. she was in a hurry. like she was suffocated. like she wanted to avoid something. him. she swung her sling bag around her shoulder and was about to stand up to leave. but she was stopped.

hyunjin's hand held her arm, prompting her motionless. yesul was surprised at his action and they even had a staring battle for a while. not until he bit his bottom lip and released her arm immediately from his hold.

he couldn't look into her eyes. he couldn't even raise his head from looking down. but one thing was for sure. "i- i'm so sorry yesul." he struggled to say that line and he stuttered. heck, his words even came out like aphonia.

yet it rendered yesul downright speechless.